No, that dyslexic butt fuck picture never gets told to me.
Kristen Stewart gave People an open letter to Robert Pattinson where she slurred out a stream of sowwies for dimming the sparkle on his nipple by letting her 41-year-old married director make out with her cooch in her parked car. The statement of words almost made my eyes roll to the left and roll to the right, so bitch definitely wrote it herself:
“I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry.”
Well, I love how it takes UsWeekly catching her with a pussy full of married man mouth to admit that she’s humping on RPattz. Hopefully, Kristen Stewart’s dumb ass learned a lesson those of us with common sense learned naturally: When you’re screwing on a side trick, don’t do it out in the damn open for everyone to see. Take that shit to a Super 8 motel room. That’s what they’re there for. Seriously, bitch can’t even cheat right.
UPDATE: Rupert Sanders burped out his own statement, “I am utterly distraught about the pain I have caused my family. My beautiful wife and heavenly children are all I have in this world. I love them with all my heart. I am praying that we can get through this together.” And I’m pretty sure his wife is REALLY utterly distraught about the pain of knowing that her husband fucked her over with the humanized version of a skater boy’s ripped-off scab.