Woe Is Cheryl Cole
Cheryl Cole has been dropped into a plane and sent back to England after sitting at the judge's table on X-Factor for only a couple of weeks. Cheryl, WHO IS THE BIGGEST STAR IN ENGLAND (not at all), is now crying in that Geordie accent of hers, because she has been pink-slipped by Simon Cowell and replaced with Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls. There's a lot of things that hurt in life like getting your peen lips stuck in a zipper or accidentally chewing on aluminum foil, but I'm guessing that nothing hurts like a Pussycat Doll replacing you.
TMZ has no idea why Chery Cole left or was fired, but their sources say it happened very recently. Cheryl sat next to Simon, L.A. Reid and Paula Abdul on the judge's panel during the L.A. and Chicago auditions. Nicole Scherzinger was a co-host, but now she's been upgraded to judge.
It's pretty obvious what happened here. Even after dozens of warnings, Chery Cole mistakenly took a sip from Paula Abdul's plastic Pepsi cup. Before they knew it, Cheryl was making love to the swivel chairs, slobbering all over the contestants and spilling her feelings out to a plastic ficus tree in the corner. They had to ship her off to a health department clinic that specializes in Abdulification.
UPDATE: TMZ says that Cheryl's Geordie accent is what got her fired. Producers are afraid that us Americans might twitch our ears when listening to Cheryl speak. They also say that Cheryl and Paula Abdul didn't really fit together. Simon wants to put Cheryl back in the UK version of X-Factor, but she may tell him to fuck off because she's not happy about being put on the curb.
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Cherry Cola?
Cheryls belt buckle reminds me of those hanging ball sack ornaments people (red necks) put on the back of their pickup trucks.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
I find it strange they would fire Cheryl* when Nicole can't put two words together properly to form a sentence. Yes she's nice to look at but I don't think anything is going on upstairs.
*MK you've been posting about Cheryl for the last year & 1/2 and I have been wondering who the hell she was.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
Too bad Simon didn't try and land somebody bigger. Shina Twain has that horrible show now, she would have been an excellent judge for X-Factor, she was hugely successful when she was making music and the American public still really likes her.
Americans don't know who Cheryl Cole is and don't care about Nicole Swhatever
Cheryl Cole isn't hard to understand but she's hard to listen to because she is boring as fuck
Who did these girls sleep with to be on the show?
RustyHooligan - totally agree. I just don't think it justifies the assumption that Americans wouldn't be capable of understanding her. (That's why I think there's more to this story than just an accent.) Her accent doesn't sound exactly like Leeves', but I think it compares (through Americans' ears, anyway.) I know you probably disagree the way I would if comparing NY and Texas accents, so I see what you mean.
My point is, I think Cheryl's accent is beautful, discernable and she was robbed.
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"You know you're in NYC when a man is licking funk off his shoes like a methed-out mama cat cleaning her young." -- Michael K
She must have stopped sleeping with Cowell - that's how she got the job anyway.
Wasn't she reportedly mixing her milk with Will.I.Was' cocoapuffs?
Thank you Simon Cowell, for firing the only reason why I would have tuned into this steaming pile of feces.
WOOO!
Wow, karma is a bitch. She didn't get ousted because of her accent, that's nonsense. Steve Jones is the host on X Factor USA & he's Welsh so that can't be the case. She's too high-profile to be sacked just because of her accent, there must be more to it than that...
I bet she becomes head judge on X Factor UK now (not a good thing).
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"Even the Duchess of Alba's breasts are sitting down and taking a nap, because they know they got this!" MK, 1/4/11
umm because they didnt realize her thick accent BEFORE they hired her? lol im pretty sure it was something else
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
I couldn't be more delighted. Cheryl Cole is as dull as fuck and Simon Cowell should have put his business mind on first rather than ruling with his dick. If he had, he would have foreseen that the American audience were never going to take to her. Cheryl has been a cocky bitch on the last show and Cowell alway is, I feel sympathy for neither.
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped"
- Elbert Hubbard
Submitted by Suzy Farkis on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 6:11am.
I'm Canadian and have been living in Geordie Land for nearly 6 years, and I've always been able to understand her, despite hearing some others and honestly thinking they were speaking another language. If you can't understand her it's because you're not willing to. (I couldn't care less about the show but it really brings out the intolerance in people.) Whoever was in charge of her image failed miserably and I wonder how big a factor that was, but some of the theories offered here are interesting. And some are really stupid! You smarties know who you are.
Nicole Shitslinger looks awful in that photo. Good!
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That may be true, I guess, especially considering that the show mainly appeals to the lowest common denominator, however, I don't think it's just a matter of ignorance and/or not understanding her. Many people (even in the UK) understand her, but her accent grates people the wrong way. It's also the way she inflects and carries out her words. Or as she might say "woooohdz." There are just some accents that sound more "interesting/exotic/appealing" to the ear and others that just grate the wrong way. I have nothing against people from Newcastle or the North, but the accent doesn't tickle my ear.
Cheryl Cole as a judge on a US show was a stupid idea in the first place. The Geordie accent is going to be way too much for a large portion of Americans to deal with. There's an argument to be made for it being laziness, but people sitting around watching this sort of show are not really looking for a mental workout, are they?
I don't really have much of an opinion on Cheryl Cole in general. She's pretty, wears too much makeup, I'm unaware of anything that she's actually good at, and she's got a douche of an ex-husband. I'd be pissed at being replaced by Nicole Slutzenger on principle though, that woman is so annoying and plastic it is painful. Like a skinny Kim Kardouchian or something. *shudders*
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**This is an OUTRAGE**
Submitted by MadgesVadge on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 9:12am.
Her accent sounds a lot like Jane Leeves' (Daphne Moon from Frasier.) American audiences didn't seem to have a problem with Jane's accent, so why would we have a problem with Cheryl's?
Jane is putting on a Manchester accent, which is a Northern accent but not the same as Geordie. Brits hear these things just like we Murkins can distinguish a Chicago from a Wisconsin accent or Bronx from Brooklyn.
Nicole proved herself to be more flexible than Cheryl in the boudoir.
i am going to miss the big-haired chavette.
Since I had never heard Cheryl speak, I youtubed an interview of hers. Her accent sounds a lot like Jane Leeves' (Daphne Moon from Frasier.) American audiences didn't seem to have a problem with Jane's accent, so why would we have a problem with Cheryl's?
Once again, I smell bull sh*t.
Here's the interview:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us6EPrD_kKM
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"You know you're in NYC when a man is licking funk off his shoes like a methed-out mama cat cleaning her young." -- Michael K
I don't know. I generally have no issues with peoples' accents, but I purposely looked her up on youtube (never heard her voice) and I think some people would have had to make an active effort to pay attention to her talking. She said Simon and it sounded like "Saymon," career sounded like "Korea," and she says, "Wot Korea path would you've chosen had you nodda been a singa? ...If I had'na been singa, I woulda definitely've stayed in the entatainin' realm." I'd imagine listening to her would probably start to get on my nerves after a while, but... I don't watch shit like this anyway. She seems to stop and start a lot and stutter sometimes anyway, which is bad enough.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47fUTJRMGpU)
Cheryl Cole is pretty, but she looks different all the time.
I want desperately to dislike Cole... but she is hot
www.lowbrowsophisticate.com
Submitted by Fronika on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 8:47am.
Cole's mother is black, her ex-husband is black and Cole is racist? BS. She is an arrogant no-talent bitch though.
Cheryl Coles mother is black?? Black Irish maybe. She punched the girl and called her a racist name and she met Ashley Cole after the fact and shes his beard/proof that shes not a rascist to save her crap career. Lowlife family.
The accent thing is such BS. I'm sure there was beef. Shame, 'cause Cheryl's way hotter than Nicole and would have brought even bigger ratings.
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"You know you're in NYC when a man is licking funk off his shoes like a methed-out mama cat cleaning her young." -- Michael K
Cole's mother is black, her ex-husband is black and Cole is racist? BS. She is an arrogant no-talent bitch though.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Submitted by bigorexia on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 3:55am.
I don't believe all of this racist crap. First of all, this is merely a claim that the black toilet attendant made
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Yep, plus multiple witnesses said Cheryl didn't utter a single racist word. If you recall, the toilet person's claim was very over-the-top. The case should have been thrown out once they found out she was lying and had a history of lying in the past. In fact, she should have been deported. If someone tried to snatch my wallet, and then struck me in the face, you'd better believe I'd defend myself.
(it sucks, for those that haven;t heard it - such a pretty girl with that ignorant way of speaking)
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Way to insult the entire city of Newcastle.
Apparently I have strong feeling about this.
What's wrong with her accent? It's just a regional accent--unto itself, neutral. Liking it or not is purely subjective. Unless you're from Newcastle, she'd say you have an accent, too.
Now, whether some meaningful part of the US TV audience might struggle to understand it--that's a valid concern for the producers. But, as others have said, the producers would've figured that out long ago.
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I agree, which makes me think there is something else up.
Bullshit. sick of this accent discrimination.
I bet the real reason is goood.
i chose not to know who cheryl cole is...however, nicole schnitzel (sp) looks especially haggard in that picture....
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
I'm Canadian and have been living in Geordie Land for nearly 6 years, and I've always been able to understand her, despite hearing some others and honestly thinking they were speaking another language. If you can't understand her it's because you're not willing to. (I couldn't care less about the show but it really brings out the intolerance in people.) Whoever was in charge of her image failed miserably and I wonder how big a factor that was, but some of the theories offered here are interesting. And some are really stupid! You smarties know who you are.
Nicole Shitslinger looks awful in that photo. Good!
Submitted by bigorexia on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 3:55am.
Submitted by Anonymoussss on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 10:37pm.
She did *allegedly* call the woman a racist name. Two independent witnesses saw the incident, but one the bouncer went to the press before court and thus his statement was not allowed for contempt.
The other was the club manager and he employed a PR straight away then avoided being questioned again.
"Cheryl isn't racist because she married Ashley!"
-Puhlease marriage of convenience for both, everybody in Britain knows Ashley is gay and Jermain Jennas once stuck a vibrating mobile phone up his bum. It's the worse kept injunction. Ashley and Cheryl were put together by Max Clifford.
Like someone else said - Cheryl's visa was probably denied for a permanent HB1 visa and they are whitewashing it. We will soon see if she has to make an exit after 4-5 weeks. She's been there two I think?
"Cheryl Cole and Simon Cowell have been a serious item for almost three years now. Starting while she was still a married woman. He is besotted with her and has masterminded her rocket rise to fame in the UK. He promised her the same in the US with XFactor but now can't deliver. Wonder if she will dump him now and break his heart. Poor Si, not such a Midas afterall!"
Sure! The only way that could sound less plausible would be if you claimed he fired her to keep her away from notorious womaniser and not-even-slightly-gay-vagina-enthusiast Ryan Seacrest.
I don't even know who she is or what she does.
I don't believe all of this racist crap. First of all, this is merely a claim that the black toilet attendant made. Secondly, SHE WAS MARRIED TO ASHLEY COLE, WHO IS BLACK. So what conclusion can we draw from this?
That is so rude. At least let her flop on television before you sack her.
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It's not that serious.
Aw. Poor Cheryl. I'm not a fan but that is really cold and humiliating. Like they didn't know what she sounded like before the show? Wouldn't she have had countless screen tests with Paula Abdul? Cowell did the same thing to Kelly Brook on Britains got Talent (Spoiler alert: It doesn't). He likes to use his female co-stars like that for publicity. Scumbag. He is, however, my shameful secret crush. I think it's the deadpan putdowns. I can just hear him now...
"Claire, that was a decidedly average blowjob"
*sigh*
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Did Snooki get taller?
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"I wrote the fuckin' book on finesse!" Bobby Mercer, Four Brothers.
Nothing funnier than having Americans hear my friend from Liverpool talk. Think Scousers sound like the Beatles? Nope!
Apparantly the Liverpool accent is the hardest for Americans to understand. I love it.
I like Cheryl, her accent is broad Geordie and I don't think people in the US will understand all of it. Who cares? The show will suck anyway Cheryl. Get back with Girls Aloud and make some ace pop records.
Cole was looking too young and pretty sitting there next to Abdul. The main criteria for X-Factor jurors seem to be an overinflated ego and a polished 'plastic fantastic' look. For BGT they picked David Hasselhof, for God's sake. Only a German could call him a vocal talent. Is Cowell deliberately trying to kill off his own show or what?
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Who are you calling silly cow?
This is what got her fired:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPeVU2bUMGc
I think Nicole probably fucked someone to get Cheryl thrown off. Being a cohost is good shit, but being a judge is MUCH more camera time and press.
Take AI for example. No one really mentions Ryan in recaps.
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
What's wrong with her accent? It's just a regional accent--unto itself, neutral. Liking it or not is purely subjective. Unless you're from Newcastle, she'd say you have an accent, too.
Now, whether some meaningful part of the US TV audience might struggle to understand it--that's a valid concern for the producers. But, as others have said, the producers would've figured that out long ago.
OMG nicole sans makeup looks like the wicked witch.
bitch is haggard looking. nasty!
She's such a pretty little thing but then she opens that gob and it's a hard on killer. I don't have anything against Geordie accents, they're not my favorite, but hers is like nails on a chalkboard.
Regarding the Pussycat tranny, I'd rather take advice from JLo. To be upstaged by a fucking Pussycat Doll? Ahaha. But then again Girls Aloud isn't exactly popular here.
hate Nicole Shitslinger with a passion...but hate the PCD even more...sorry ass tranny trainwrecks...
@Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 7:30pm
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She didn't call the toilet attendant a racial name. That was a lie the attendant made up. She did, however, hit the toilet queen after she first tried to grab money from Cheryl's wallet and slap her because she thought a celeb like Cheryl should have given a bigger tip.
Submitted by BBGemini on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 7:26pm.
Submitted by TimC on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 7:21pm.
Not sure who she is or what she does, but those are some nice tits. And I don't even like tits.
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You don't think they're a little low for her age?
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I don't know her age, and I'm not a good judge of how fast or slow women's tits should droop. I'm more of a moobs guy. But they don't look like barbie plastic tits that never move. And she ain't wearing a brar... Something about the way they are going in opposite directions makes me want to fondle them.
I have never watched this show but I agree, not much could be more insulting than being replaced on a talent show with a fucking Pussycat Doll. It's bad enough that J-Lo is a judge on American Idol.
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But I still can’t get out the frustration, the guilt and the empathy I have for everybody. There’s good in all of us and I simply love people too much.
– Kurt Cobain’s suicide note
I love British accents, but her voice made me cringe.
I am not watching this show, no matter who the host or judges are.
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Situation no win
Rush for a change of atmosphere
I can't go on so I give in
Gotta get myself right out of here
I don't know who she is but sometimes the chemistry just isn't there.
...because Nicole S. is such a mega star, and top singer to be a judge....give me a freaking break....
I could have saved them a lot of money had they asked my opinion before signing her. I was raised there and couldnt understand her.