Ever since the laws of medical science were defied when Benicio Del Toro’s hairy sperm fishes took a wrong turn and smashed straight into one of Kimbo Stewart’s ovaries, I’ve realized that the world has a bizarre way of showing us that anything can happen. Anything really can happen. So let’s not rule out that this image is of John Cougarless Mellencamp peeking in on the bump holding his and Meg Ryan’s unborn baby at an airport in Vancouver yesterday. Prepare yourself for a baby that will come out looking like a miniature wolf man with the face of Howard the Duck.
Sure, there’s a good chance John is doing something else to Meg Ryan’s down low area, but Sunday morning mass is still 3 days away so let’s not do that to ourselves right now.