Meanwhile in New Jersey……
27 -year-old Ivanka Trump married fellow rich bitch Jared Kushner (owner of The New York Observer) yesterday at her daddy’s golf club.
Unfortunately, Ivanka didn’t wear a dress made from her daddy’s bankruptcy documents and cartilage from her original nose. Instead she wore a Vera Wang gown inspired by Grace Kelly. People reports that among the 500-guests was Regis Philbin who sang for the new couple. I’m sure Regis was supposed to duet with Kathie Lee but she otherwise engaged (aka laying head first in the wine fountain).
Ivanka is also a new jew, because she converted in order to marry Jared who is Orthodox Jewish. Ivanka fast-tracked her conversion since it only took a few months instead of a year or two. And I guess this means that Donald Trump was forced to cover his “Where The Wild Things Are” mop with a yarmulke. That poor yarmulke won’t ever be heard from again since I’m sure Donald Trump’s comb-over of tragicness ate it whole.