Lance Armstrong’s girlfriend, Anna Hansen, popped out a baby and he has already made his internet debut. Last night, Lance’s new son Max Twittered about his birth and even posted a picture of himself. Max: “Wassup, world? My name is Max Armstrong and I just arrived. My Mommy is healthy and so am I!”
You know, whenever I go see a friend or relative who has just had a baby it’s usually the same thing. They hold up their week old ball of preciousness and say to me, “Isn’t he/she the most cutest baby you’ve ever seen?” I clear my throat, blink several times, think of fluffy kittens frolicking in the fields and then lie my ass off by saying, “DUH! Of course!” For me, most newborns look like they are going to grab you with their claws, climb on your head and eat your brains before retreating to their home planet. Which makes sense since they’ve been living in another human’s body for 9 months! It’s all kind of science fiction-like. It takes them a couple of weeks to settle in and get all the womb meat out of their eyes.
And Max is already a genius, because he’s not even a week old and he already knows how to Twitter! Blowing my mind.