Angelyne Is Amazing

January 14, 2009 / Posted by:

Ever since I was a lil’ homo growing up in Los Angeles, I have felt a bond with Angelyne. She basically has the life I was meant to live. I mean, all she does is drive around in a pink Corvette, post billboards of her ass all over the city, wear clothes she finds discarded in dumpsters and well….that’s it. Oh and she was in the most important movie of 1988: Earth Girls Are Easy. It really doesn’t get better than that. AND she’s a connoisseur of fine dining, because she goes to 7-Eleven! That’s where the paparazzi caught up with her. Angelyne greeted him by offering him a soda. And by “offering” I mean she threw it at his ass.

Then she covered her beautiful face with a coffee filter and told him he was “in big trouble” because she was going to call 911. Being batshit crazy never looked so glamorous.

Angelyne IS Los Angeles. But don’t say that in front of other natives. I did that one time and they threatened to take away my In-N-Out privileges.

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