Whenever I think of the questionable thing taking place between 49-year-old Sean “Diddy Do Her?” Combs and Steve Harvey’s 22-year-old old step-daughter Lori Harvey, it makes my skin crawl for a multitude of reasons. Primarily because if they are indeed fucking (which they probably are), Lori used to date his son Justin Combs. So basically what this means is that Diddy has been plotting on Lori for years, which officially makes him a dirty old man. Now, let’s make things just a little more uncomfortable within the Combs clan. Because after Diddy and Lori have returned from another totally platonic getaway, the two were seen rubbing on Lori’s belly, sparking pregnancy rumors.
GQ’s cover man of the month is Love. How’s that you say? Is it like when Time’s person of the year was “You”? No, it’s not like that at all. Love is Diddy. Sean Combs. Puff Daddy. P Diddy. Diddy Diddy Oxen Free. Diddy Though? She Already Diddy Done Had Hers. Look, I did a lot of Diddy name jokes the last time and the time before that so cut me some slack.
Even though he pulled a Ben Affleck and told us a lie to save face, it’s Love now. End of story. Love is on the cover of GQ and he told them about a rough patch he went through that drove him to wander the desert like Caine to deal with his cell phone addiction.
Well, thanks a fucking lot, Diddy. Now I have to write a retraction. You guys, Brother Love was only playing. According to Page Six, Sean Combs, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy and Just Plain Old Diddy are still the names of that guy from yesterday who said his name was Brother Love. Jesus Christ, this man is exhausting.
Sean Combs aka P. Diddy aka Puff Daddy aka Puffy aka Stay Puffed (which clearly he do be) announced that’s he’s changing his name up once again. The artist formally known as “Biggie’s ‘Lil Friend” shall now be referred to as Love. You may also call him Brother Love. Please update your contacts lists accordingly. If you have a P. Diddy tattoo, make an appointment with the laser surgeon. Brother Love will no longer be responding to those other names so don’t even try it. You’ll only embarrass yourself.
What’s that’s hurtling out of left field at us? Oh, it’s just federal investigators quizzing a drug lord about whether or not Diddy likes em’ Elmo-style. That’s new. Maybe he got sick of Skrillex hair?
The Smoking Gun has some truly painful legalese about this sitch concerning Sean Combs and former music mogul and alleged cocaine cowboy James Rosemond. Watching a shit-ton of Dateline ID programs about swamp girlfriends who kill hasn’t made me the legal genius I thought it would because I was nodding off while reading this mess. But here’s the gist.
In an affidavit, Rosemond (aka “Jimmy Henchman“) testified that he was asked by the feds about the scandalous lives of several celebrities he knew. One of these celebs being Diddy. Puffy/Diddy/Puffy Diddy/Dad Puffy/Whatever The Fuck He Calls Himself Now and Rosemond had business dealings in the past and had a “cordial relationship”.
A prosecutor, Rosemond continued, then “asked about entertainers sexual preferences, including, but not only, Sean Combs having sexual relationships with under age boys.” Again, Rosemond provided no context for these alleged queries.
This sounds like one of the investigators reads too much Life & Style while watching many a USA Network Law & Order: SVU marathon. Diddy doesn’t read like he’ll be Chris Hansen’s next guest for iced tea. That’s not his speed. Jerking off in front of a mirror while Biggie’s taxidermied corpse watches in the background? Totally.
Here’s Diddy and Cassie leaving Hakkasan in Beverly Hills last week. Is she wearing Fashion Genius Yeezus’ leather jogging pants? Is that why a distraught Puffy might have picked up the lease on Neverland Ranch?