Renee Zellweger Will Play Judy Garland In A Biopic

Eight years ago, The Weinstein Company (eeesh) announced they were working on a biopic about Judy Garland, based on the book Get Happy: The Life of Judy Garland. It was supposed to star Anne Hathaway. Eight years later, a different Judy Garland biopic has been announced and this one will star Renee Zellweger as Judy. “I’m sorry, was my number disconnected recently?” thought a furious Anne Hathaway, as she crushed her phone in her right hand.

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The Kenny Chesney Gay Rumors Made Renee Zellweger Sad

In the dirty divorce days of Renee Zellweger’s random relationship with Kenny Chesney, the word that kept following them around was “fraud.” Fraud was the reason listed on their annulment papers for why their marriage ended after 4 months. Lots of people thought that “fraud” might have been a simple and more-subtle one-word way of saying “Surprise! Turns out the groom is gay!” (Kenny has since said the reason they undid their marriage was because his “box was too full“). Renee was recently reminded of those gay rumors during an interview with The Advocate to promote Bridget Jones’ Baby. I hope they brought a box of Kleenex, because the “Kenny Chesney is gay” talk is a real bummer for Renee.

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Hugh Grant Pulled A Hugh Grant On “Watch What Happens Live”

Acting like a sarcastic urethra fissure in interviews is sort of Hugh Grant’s thing and he kept that cunty schtick going on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live last night. One day after he made me (and Tiger Woods and Dean McDermott) scream, “Preach!”, by saying that the key to a successful marriage is letting your partner’s fuck parts roam to other pastures, he was asked about his past lady co-stars by Andy Cohen. And while answering, he threw in a couple of sarcastic-pointed digs.

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Renee Zellweger Has Something To Say About The Rumors That She De-Squinted Her Eyes

Last month, The Huffington Post published an op-ed piece from Jennifer Aniston where she took a big, sloppy, non-pregnant shit all over the tabloids for constantly talking about the goings-on in her uterus and for saying she’s got a baby in her belly when she’s really just the remnants of a burrito. Well, Aniston has now handed over the op-ed piece pen to Renee Zellweger and it’s her turn to shit all over the tabloids, the media and the internet.

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This Trailer For “Bridget Jones’s Baby” Needs Some Maury In It

The last Bridget Jones’ movie came out over 11 years ago, but because the “crying lonely tears on a log of raw cookie dough after a break-up” set will throw their money at a third movie, a third movie has been shot and the one-time master squinter formerly known as Squinty Zellweger debuted the first trailer on Ellen today. As anyone who has been following this shit knows, they threw out the plot of the third Bridget Jones book and did a new story based on the columns that author Helen Fielding wrote for The Independent in 2005.

In Bridget Jones’s Baby, Bridget is still an awkward klutz, but now she’s a 40-year-old awkward klutz who is knocked up with a Maury baby. Bridget doesn’t know if the dude who raw-dogged a baby into her womb is her ex-husband (yeah ex) Mark Darcy or a hot billionaire piece played by Patrick Dempsey. Bridget tells both of them that they’re the father and HIJINKS (including HIJINKS involving Dr. Emma Thompson) ensue! I know, Bridget Jones really needs a shameless gold digger friend in her life to advise her that she needs to tell Patrick Dempsey that he’s really the father, and if the baby comes out looking like Darcy in the face, take the baby on a long-visit to her mom’s house (read: take the baby to get back alley plastic surgery to look like Patrick Dempsey in the face). Heather Mills would’ve played the role of the gold digger friend flawlessly. What a missed opportunity!

And I’m really surprised that the UK hasn’t announced that they’re experiencing a Vaseline shortage, because it’s obvious that every jar was smeared on all of the camera lenses while making this.

Pics: Wenn.com

The Third Bridget Jones Movie Is Really Happening

Universal Pictures UK tweeted this first picture of Bridget Jones on the set of Bridget Jones’s Baby. (Note: I’m really disappointed in them for not calling it Bridget Jonesing For A Baby.) The third Bridget Jones movie isn’t based on Mad About The Boy, the third book in Helen Fielding’s series. It’s based on columns written by Helen Fielding and in it, Bridget’s diary has been replaced with an iPad and Hugh Grant’s character has been replaced with a new character played by Patrick Dempsey. That’s great (or not) and everything, but it’s shitty that they replaced Renee Zellweger with Chelsea Handler. That’s who that is, right? No, that actually kind of looks like Bridget Jones and I see a little bit of her signature squint.

Thanks to that diabolical smirk and the way she’s clutching that iPad, it looks like a still from a horror movie. It looks more like a still from Rosemary’s Baby instead of Bridget Jones’s Baby. Please tell me that in the third movie, Bridget Jones is knocked up with the spawn of Lucifer.