Mossimo Giannulli Is Now In Protective COVID-Related Custody In Prison

Straight from the files of Adding Insult to Injury, Mossimo Giannulli and his perpetual deer-in-the-headlights-and-resigned-to-roadkill lewk are now sequestered in protective isolation due to COVID-19 concerns, as he completes his five-month sentence for his part in the College Admissions scandal. The aftermath of that what-the-fuck-were-you-thinking crash in judgment seems to be dragging out longer than it takes to get a bachelor’s degree, and in the end, all anyone is going to do is try to brand and rebrand themselves on social media anyway, so just save your money, everyone.

Mossimo and his wife, Lori Loughlin, finally agreed to a plea deal after months of stubbornly clinging to their innocence, which wasn’t working out too well. Lori is currently serving a two-month sentence at a separate facility, and everyone seems to be on the same page that our generation’s Bonnie and Clyde, The Rowing Years should never have been unwittingly crowdfunded by janky fashion shoppers and Hallmark watchers.

Continue reading