Category: Must Hate Birds

Open Post: Hosted By The Turkey Terrorizing A Neighborhood In Coon Rapids, Minnesota

January 24, 2023 / Posted by:

Gerald–the territorial park turkey from Oakland–waddled so an even more evil wild turkey named Reggie and/or Gladys (depending on who’s begging for mercy) from Coon Rapids, Minnesota could…waddle faster! And ruin people’s day. Mostly that, actually. Because residents of a Coon Rapids mobile home park have been stalked and attacked by the pissed-off poultry that’s taken up residence there for the last two years and want the proper authorities to relocate it, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen.

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Open Post: Hosted By A Seagull Crash To The Face

July 23, 2021 / Posted by:

We were warned. 22 years ago Fabio was struck in the face by a goose while riding a roller coaster and in the aftermath, he warned us that if something wasn’t done, this type of tragedy would happen again. Possibly injuring a child, or even worse, striking down some other flaxen-haired god in his prime. Yet did we listen? Did we ban birds from the airspace above theme parks? No, we did not. And Fabio’s second-worst fear has come to pass. A child has been struck in the face by a seagull while riding the SpringShot ride at Morey’s Piers in Wildwood, New Jersey. According to The Huffington Post, a 13-year-old girl named Kiley Holman was largely unhurt physically, but if she’s anything like Fabio, the emotional scars may last a lifetime.

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