Gerald–the territorial park turkey from Oakland–waddled so an even more evil wild turkey named Reggie and/or Gladys (depending on who’s begging for mercy) from Coon Rapids, Minnesota could…waddle faster! And ruin people’s day. Mostly that, actually. Because residents of a Coon Rapids mobile home park have been stalked and attacked by the pissed-off poultry that’s taken up residence there for the last two years and want the proper authorities to relocate it, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen.
Trailer Park Turkey has been kicking it in the neighborhood since November 2021, and I would assume has only been emboldened by successfully avoiding being Thanksgiving dinner in 2021 and 2022; so now the bird gives no fucks and has been running after cars, chasing people, and trapping residents in their homes by waiting for them on their porches. via People:
“This turkey has literally taken over our life,” Coon Rapids resident Rachael Gross told CBS Minnesota, adding that the bird attacks her “every single day.”
Gross also said that the turkey stalks her and “goes up my stairs, tries to get into my house. When I leave in my car, it follows my car.”
Even turning the hose on it and screaming in its direction hasn’t deterred TPT, and adults and children either have to stay indoors or travel the neighborhood with beatin’ sticks in case things turn fowl. And Minnesota’s DNR won’t do anything about it.
The turkey, which also chases cars, is remarkably bold and not deterred by scare tactics such as sprays from a water bottle or screaming.
“I have to carry my broom and my water and my golf club everywhere I go,” Gross told the outlet, adding that she has had to help schoolchildren battle the turkey while they try to walk to their bus stop in the mornings. “But now they are smart, and they carry sticks,” Gross noted of the children.
Another Coon Rapids resident, Emily Ahlsten, told CBS that she cannot have a barbecue outdoors with friends and that she fears for the safety of her 1-year-old grandchild while the aggressive fowl is at large.
Gross and Ahlsten say they have reached out to Minnesota’s Department of Natural Resources for help finding a new habitat for the bird and were instead given suggestions on how to mitigate the situation, including removing bird feeders and trimming branches where the turkey might nest.
Here’s Reggie/Gladys/TPT saying “ahh, well thanks bitch, I was thirsty anyway!” And lurking on a doorstep, ready for vengeance:
Residents in Coon Rapids say a wild turkey is terrorizing the neighborhood. It has attacked people and pecked at moving cars, causing some neighbors to carry a broom with them at all times to defend themselves. They just want the turkey to be relocated. More at 10pm @WCCO pic.twitter.com/QD6l6HJ0Yn
— Kirsten Mitchell (@Kirsten_TV) January 21, 2023
Is Waffle House hiring? This brawling bird would be the perfect team member! You can see more of this wildin’ turkey here: