Morning Wood

Rojo Caliente and legal weed together in one place!!!1!1!!!! Excuse me while I paddle my ass to Amsterdam in a dingy boat made from an old shopping cart – Gespot

Who cares if Jessica and Justin are still butt fucking each other! There’s more important questions that need answering like: what in the Donald Duck diaper Hell is she wearing?! – Celebitchy

The terrorists have won – Socialite Life

I think being married to Sean Penn for all these years messed up Robin Wright even more than modeling did – I’m Not Obsessed

MY NO-NO NEEDS PICTURES OF THIS! MY NO-NO NEEDS PICTURES OF THIS! MY NO-NO NEEDS PICTURES OF THIS! – Holy Moly!

Johnny Depp is a saint – ICYDK

File this under: More proof that Hollywood hates humanity – SOW

Courtney Love being Courtney Love – Scandalist

Morning Wood

Terrence Howard drowned in his own saliva after watching this – Videogum

Doogie Howser should host everything – SOW

Hayden Panettiere is not apologizing for being a dumb fuck – Popeater

Dakota Fanning proving that she can strut for her life on any episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race – Socialite Life

Peter Andre surrounded by a bunch of skanky tits. Some things never change. – Holy Moly!

Paula Abdul will follow-up her poignant and important performance in her Rush Rush video with a guest-starring role on some Lifetime show – Scandalist

Wake me when Karen Duffy guest stars on Gossip Girl – I’m Not Obsessed

Pauly Shore is planning to sue Bruno. The reason? He wants everyone to know he still exists – ICYDK

Tameka Foster says she dick slapped Usher’s nalgas just a week before he filed for The Big D – Celebitchy

Morning Wood

Daddy Warfucks (on purpose typo) is looking hot – I’m Not Obsessed

The ping-pong game continues…. Debbie Rowe says she is the mother – Celebitchy

But America does not love this Project Runway on Lifetime promo – ICYDK

The SyFy Channel to start airing The Tommy & Katie Show – SOW

The worst job in the UK: Katie Price’s snatch blocker – Holy Moly!

Save it, Hayden, we’ve all seen a newborn hippo nekkid – Socialite Life

When is Basement Baby going to get her own fashion line for DOTS? – YBF

Morning Wood

Michael Jackson’s image will forever live on the pristine skin of Jodie Marsh – Holy Moly!

Diane Keaton better lock herself in the safe house until further notice – SOW

The bitch who got dumped on The Bachelor is trying the whole “engagement” thing again – Popeater

Johnny Depp and Marion Cotillard should switch hair – Socialite Life

Little Lord Ty Ty – The Bastardly

The hairless wonder in one of Tommy Girl’s party outfits again – I’m Not Obsessed

Eddie Van Halen got married – ICYDK

I think Usher should start by checking if Tameka has a real uterus or not – Celebitchy

Megan Fox as a brain-eating zombie. This is fitting since my brain eats away at itself whenever I read one of her quotes – Popoholic

Morning Wood

Nothing says true love (or high-class affair) like a giant sidewalk portrait – Socialite Life

Vadge shows off her new limited-edition babypack – Celebitchy

Sorry Chuck Bass, your luscious carpet of chest hair isn’t going to distract from that humongous pimple on your precious face – SOW

Bernie Madoff will get out of jail when he’s like 200 years old or something – Gawker

Lady CaCa needs to wipe those cholita eyebrows from her oinky face at once! – Holy Moly!

Chris Brown should be thankful that he’s not doing a Michael Jackson tribute in the middle of a prison cafeteria – I’m Not Obsessed

Understatement of the century – ICYDK

Get ready to jack it until your genitals fall off, because a John Edwards sex tape is cumming – NYDN

Morning Wood

Katy Perry stars in Big Chichi Pizza – Celebslam

Tommy Girl is the one who wanted Stepford Katie to do a dance tribute to Judy Garland. Don’t you leave it when the joke is just handed to you on a silver platter? – Celebitchy

I’d rather Johnny Depp tip me in the no-no – ICYDK

Carmen Electra found the quickest way to looking like a complete dumbass – SOW

But is she in the “alien way?” – I’m Not Obsessed

Grandma Wrinkle should be on the cover instead – Socialite Life

Praze Jeebus! Miley Cyrus’ old piece got a new tattoo – Popeater

Guess which dick bag got their own Vh1 dating show? I’ll give you a hint: BUNION LICKER – Vh1 Blog

Katie Price is angry – Holy Moly!