One of the cringier moments this past fall was watching 63-year-old OG badass bitch Linda Hamilton get smacked around in crashing planes, thrown by cyborgs onto concrete, and stuck underwater in cars in Terminator: Dark Fate for ok reviews and a crappy box office take in what looked like a whole lot of chances to injure herself. This is not me being ageist. I’m younger than Linda and it takes me three days to recover from a hangover now, so one can only imagine how her body’s feeling after that shoot and then seeing the so-so box office performance. Linda Hamilton herself recently said that she’s pretty much done playing Sarah Conner, like she’s pretty much done (for now) playing with other people’s genitals. In fact, she says she’s very happy about it, according to The Hollywood Reporter. Hell, stunts aside, you try actually emoting with a scene partner like Ahnuld.
It’s been 28 years since Linda Hamilton has slid her muscled-up arms into the arm holes of a tank to play Sarah Conner, and she did it for the third time for Terminator: Dark Fate, which is out in November. To promote her grand return to Sarah Conner, Linda talked to The New York Times, and pretty much told them that when the genitals of her last fuck partner said, “I’ll be back,” she said, “Don’t bother, bitch.” That was 15 years ago.
If you’re a dick-hungry ho like me, who gets his oxygen from a peen, then you might be shedding a tear for Linda’s cooze, but don’t. Because Linda’s coochie isn’t exactly staring at the window, softly singing Diana Ross’ Missing You to sex.
I don’t know if part of Linda Hamilton’s divorce settlement from James Cameron included securing a starring role in his third attempt to milk the Terminator franchise drier than a mummy, but if it was, congratulations? In a new trailer for the upcoming movie Terminator: Dark Fate, Linda reprises her iconic role of future-saver Sarah Connor and she’s brought her big guns with her. She looks amazing and seems to have been keeping up with her pull ups routine. And it looks like she shared her workout, and original costume, with co-star Mackenzie Davis.