Kit Harington Doesn’t Look Like This Anymore

The world is a strange, confusing and unpredictable place. Yesterday we found out the earth-shattering news that a bunch of famous rich dudes rented VVS1 grade pussy from Heidi Fleiss back in the 90s, and today we learned that Kit Harington viciously slaughtered his beard! I know, it’s wrong of me to demean Kit Harington by focusing on his looks. Kit Harington is not his beard! But apparently, he is, because some tricks don’t know how they’ll go on after seeing him without a field of fur on his face.

The Medieval Times Curly Sue from Game of Thrones is starring in the play Doctor Faustus in London, and fans got pictures of his freshly shaven mug (still covered with some stage paint) outside of the theater. Bitches haven’t freaked out this much about the loss of a beard since Katie Holmes and Tommy Cruise got divorced.

Kit Harington shaved his beard. #JonSnow #GameOfThrones pic.twitter.com/covBdXHIHo

— Jon Snow (@LordSnow) June 1, 2016

With the beard, Kit Harington looks like a brooding model from an inspiration hairstyles look book found in a JcPenney salon in 1987. Without it, Kit Harington looks like a cross between a Brandon Lee in The Crow impersonator on Hollywood Blvd. who yells at tourists for not paying him for a picture and the lead singer of Finland’s #3 goth band whose biggest hit is a musical ode to Ville Valo. He also kind of looks like a mostly SANS FARDS Gerard Way after two weeks of doing the Master Cleanse.

With or without the beard, I’d hit it. But if I hit it without the beard, I’d solemnly hum The Cure’s “The Same Deep Water As You” while doing so, because I’d want it to be as Emo as possible.

Pic: Wenn.com

Kit Harington Says He Has “Felt The Sexism” Of Hollywood

Poor sexy Kit Harington is talking once again about how hard it is to be a sexy actor in Hollywood. Grab your tissues (ew, not like that – and stop objectifying him!), because you will no doubt feel many emotions for Kit. The last time a sad single tear rolled down Jon Snow’s chiseled cheekbone, he was talking about how it was “demeaning” to call him a hunk and that it was basically the same type of sexism actresses face. Kit is clearly gunning for an #AskKitMore campaign at this year’s Emmys, because he recently told The Sunday Times (via UsWeekly) that he’s sick of the double standard of sexism in Hollywood when it comes to talking about how sexy actors are.

“I think there is a double standard. If you said to a girl, ‘Do you like being called a babe?’ and she said, ‘No, not really,’ she’d be absolutely right. I like to think of myself as more than a head of hair or a set of looks. It’s demeaning. Yes, in some ways you could argue I’ve been employed for a look I have. But there’s a sexism that happens towards men.”

However, Kit Harington says he totally understands that actresses deal with serious sexism and objectification. But he also says that he’s hurting too, you guys (or gals).

“There’s definitely a sexism in our industry that happens towards women, and there is towards men as well. At some points during photo shoots when I’m asked to strip down, I felt that.”

He adds that if he felt like he was getting acting jobs based solely on his sexiness, he’d quit acting.

Not surprisingly, the internet came for Kit Harington’s feelings about sexism not too soon after he expressed them by pointing out that there’s legitimate sexism in Hollywood, like paying actresses less than actors. I get it, but I also feel like this is a real apples/oranges situation. Yes, women don’t get paid enough in Hollywood. But there’s also a problem with buff-bodied men being paraded around like pieces of meat. Thick, meaty, shirtless, bulgy…sorry, what were we talking about again? Oh shit, I’m totally part of the problem, aren’t I? Sorry, Kit!

Pic: Men’s Journal

Kit Harrington Got Out Of A Speeding Ticket With A Game Of Thrones Spoiler

It seems like only yesterday… The world that was. Before civilization crumbled. It started quietly enough and then consumed society. The capitals fell, the economy collapsed and corruption ran rampant. What was once a successful niche fantasy book series called Game of Thrones came to life on TV and took control of the majority. It pulled people in with its fighting, magic and heavily gratuitous shots of boobs, boobs, more boobs and full frontal poon. I knew the obsession and corruption went all the way to the top, and now we have proof.

HuffPo tells us that Kit Harrington, or as some of you may know him, Jon Snow, was on The Tonight Show on Friday and told Jimmy Fallon about a run in with the dark, seedy underbelly of the law. While driving home after visiting his parents, Kit was pulled over by a cop for speeding. This is where things get real and scary. No the cop didn’t make him do sex things. Get your head out of the GoT gutter. No, the cop said to Kit:

He said, ‘Look, there’s two ways we could do this. You can either follow me back to the police station now and I book you in, or you can tell me whether you live in the next series of ‘Game of Thrones.

This officer is clearly someone who is not on the right side of the law. Were it up to him, he’d probably have let off Vanessa Hudgens for defacing that rock if she told him what brand of mascara Zac Efron used circa the High School Musical years. Well, Kit complied and told the officer that yes, Jon Snow was still alive. The cop then went full fan and said ,”On your way Lord Commander. Keep the speed down this far south of the wall.”

I had to stop watching that shit a few years ago because it was too much even for my sick and twisted mind. There’s only so many throat slittings, beheadings and rape one can sit through before it becomes too much. And on top of all that, it’s slower than watching paint dry. It’s like Hostel done by Merchant Ivory. Last week’s Saturday Night Live pretty much summed it up perfectly with their sketch about Jon Snow coming back to life. If you need a GoT fix, here’s Kit on Tonight:

Pic: Wenn

Kit Harington Thinks It’s “Demeaning” When Someone Calls Him A Hunk

Hunky actor Kit Harington (aka Ned Stark’s hunky bastard son Jon Snow from Game of Thrones) recently confessed to News.com.au (via Page Six) that he’s not here for the horny bitches drooling over his hot bod or swooning over his sexy beady little eyes. But he’s especially not here for anyone who refers to him as a “hunk” (Dr. Steve Brule just got very sad):

“To always be put on a pedestal as a hunk is slightly demeaning. It really is and it’s in the same way as it is for women. When an actor is seen only for her physical beauty it can be quite offensive. Well, it’s not just men that can be inappropriate sexually; women can be as well.

I’m in a successful TV show in a kind of leading man way and it can sometimes feel like your art is being put to one side for your sex appeal. And I don’t like that. In this position you get asked a lot, ‘Do you like being a heart-throb? Do you like being a hunk?’ Well, my answer is, ‘That’s not what I got into it for.'”

Part of me thinks Jon Snow doth protest too much, because are that many people busting their nuts over the low-budget Orlando Bloom? I just checked to see if KitHunkington.com or JonSnowMoreLikeJonBlowMe.org were things that existed, and they are not. But if he feels gross every time someone gives him the perv stare or calls him a hunk, there’s an easy way to divert attention away from his hunkiness: start carrying around a cardboard cutout of someone hunkier. Like notorious vintage hunk William Petersen from Manhunter, for example. Human eyes can’t focus on other hunks if they’re glued to the sexy purple short shorts of Detective Will Graham!