Kit Harington Doesn’t Look Like This Anymore

June 3, 2016 / Posted by:

The world is a strange, confusing and unpredictable place. Yesterday we found out the earth-shattering news that a bunch of famous rich dudes rented VVS1 grade pussy from Heidi Fleiss back in the 90s, and today we learned that Kit Harington viciously slaughtered his beard! I know, it’s wrong of me to demean Kit Harington by focusing on his looks. Kit Harington is not his beard! But apparently, he is, because some tricks don’t know how they’ll go on after seeing him without a field of fur on his face.

The Medieval Times Curly Sue from Game of Thrones is starring in the play Doctor Faustus in London, and fans got pictures of his freshly shaven mug (still covered with some stage paint) outside of the theater. Bitches haven’t freaked out this much about the loss of a beard since Katie Holmes and Tommy Cruise got divorced.

With the beard, Kit Harington looks like a brooding model from an inspiration hairstyles look book found in a JcPenney salon in 1987. Without it, Kit Harington looks like a cross between a Brandon Lee in The Crow impersonator on Hollywood Blvd. who yells at tourists for not paying him for a picture and the lead singer of Finland’s #3 goth band whose biggest hit is a musical ode to Ville Valo. He also kind of looks like a mostly SANS FARDS Gerard Way after two weeks of doing the Master Cleanse.

With or without the beard, I’d hit it. But if I hit it without the beard, I’d solemnly hum The Cure’s “The Same Deep Water As You” while doing so, because I’d want it to be as Emo as possible.


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