Well, Where’s The Video?

Josh Hartnett did fuckey fuckey times with some chick in the library of his London hotel and it was all caught on security camera. That’s what the Mirror claims anyway. Hotel staff watched as a drunken Josh and his chick stumbled into the library, closed off the curtains and started bumping nasties.

A source said, “Unfortunately the hotel has security cameras all over the place – the library included. This means their every spit and cough was recorded, and cringing hotel workers saw all of Josh’s X-rated moves.”

After Josh and his lady finished filling the library with sex smells, a hotel staffer told him to take his personal shit elsewhere in the future.

I think it’s the hotel’s duty to release the footage to the public. You know, as a warning to whores who might want to do it in a hotel library. And I want close-ups of Hartnett’s peen. I have a feeling it’s floppy, skinny and just as boring as him. Actually, maybe I don’t want to see Hartnett’s footage. There’s nothing worse than boring peen.

And I feel sorry for the poor bitch who strolled into the library after Josh finished, grabbed a copy of “War and Peace” and found a chunky glob of Hartnett smegma all over it.

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Josh Hartnett has barely let Scarlett Johansson’s vagina juice dry on his peen and he’s already hooking up with Sienna Miller. The two were spotted “canoodling” at the Chateau Marmont on Tuesday night in Hollyweird. Witnesses say that the two were very touchy feely in front of everyone.

Slimy’s spokesrep denies they are dating and insists they are just friends. “Just friends” in Hollyweird means that she hasn’t swallowed his load yet.

Source

Josh Hartnett’s Sloppy Bar Bathroom BJ

A Dlisted reader witnessed Josh Harnett getting a blowjob from some chick in the bathroom of a NYC bar lastnight. Hahaha…I live for this crap. You know it’s small though. Here’s what my reader witnessed:

I was out last night with my friend in New York City. We went to the Lower East Side for drinks and to hangout. We started at this bar called Max Fish. Two of my girlfriends noticed that Josh Hartnet had arrived and proceeded to talk to him for a bit. He invited them to come meet him and some other friends at a small bar called Mamma’s. When we arrived the star struck girls could see Josh over in the corner – but he was surrounded by another group of girls. My friend had to go to the bathroom and there was a small line. The guy in front of her mentioned that there were 2 girls in the bathroom and just then Hartnet walked right in. He was pissed (not knowing it was Josh, but he was mad because he obviously knew this would take a while). After a considerable amount of time – the pissed off guy walked up to the door and yanked it open – only to expose to the bar Josh Hartnet recieving a big sloppy blowjob from one of the two girls who was down on her knees. It was difficult to see what the other girl was doing because he shut the door so quickly. For Confirmation – he was wearing a white t-shirt that said KLAUS on the front and a black knit hat and had an ugly pair of glasses hanging from his shirt.

KLAUS? As in Von Bulow? Anyway, see stars are just like us! They receive bjs from strange girls in bathrooms in bars. Unfortunately, who knows if Josh is hung like a horse or bumble bee. I’m guessing he has huge nuts and a small trunk. The other chick was probably taking a dump. The sight of Harnett getting a sloppy cock-whistle is enough to make anyone get diarrhea.