Jenna Jameson And Baby Huey Call The Whole Thing Off

If you stopped caring about this story two snaps after it broke, just focus on Apollonia’s bodacious titty area in the picture above.

Jenna Jameson and her husband Tito Ortiz have backed away from the allegations they both made on Monday. Jenna claimed she suffered two torn ligaments after Baby Huey tossed her into a tub. Baby Huey claimed Jenna was cracked out on OxyContin at the time. Well, now lawyers for both sides have labeled it a “misunderstanding.”

Jenna says: “What actually happened has now been dramatically distorted and misinterpreted and remarks that both Tito and I made after the police arrived reflect the state of shock that we were both in.”

Baby Huey is now saying that he should’ve never accused Jenna of being high on OxyContin. He jumped to conclusions after finding two pills in the house.

A source tells TMZ that Baby Huey would’ve lost his UFC contract worth millions of dollars if he was charged with domestic abuse.

Baby Huey and Jenna can kindly take their bows now and exit stage left. CURTAIN DOWN. Then they need to use some of their millions to buy a handful of clues. Shit, while they’re at it, they should buy me one too. Obviously, I need one since I’ve been posting about them over and over again during the past few days. Wait, can I trade my clue in for those two OxyContin pills?

He Said, She Said

After Tito Ortiz was arrested for allegedly whooping Jenna Jameson’s ass, she brought her twin boys outside to talk to the media about the incident. If it was me, I would be inside watching the last 45-minutes of What’s Love Got To Do With It for inspiration, but Jenna does things differently I guess.

Jenna said that Baby Huey tossed her into the bath tub after she said something “very hurtful to his ego.” Jenna suffered two tore up ligaments in her shoulder. Jenna left for Las Vegas yesterday to get away from his ass.

After Baby Huey was released on bail, he held a press conference with his lawyer to give his side of the story. Baby Huey swears he never put his hands on Jenna. He says that she’s a longtime OxyContinhead who had a relapse yesterday. Baby Huey’s lawyer said:

“Jenna has been fighting a battle with OxyContin addiction for the past year. For Tito and her family this has been an uphill battle. Unfortunately this morning she had a relapse. Tito was trying to help her, she has threatened suicide before. Tito has done everything in his power to protect her privacy and the privacy of their children.

When you’re dealing with people on OxyContin they don’t always have the best sense of balance. Jenna and Tito have two children together, they planned on spending the rest of their lives together. They want nothing more than to work together on this.”

Jenna denies she’s thirsty for OxyContin and said Baby Huey’s accusation is the “last nail in the coffin.”

What I want to know is what did Jenna say to Baby Huey? Did she tell him that when he fucks her it feels like he’s throwing a flea’s leg down an airport hangar? Did she tell him that he’s as hung as her belly button? Did she tell him that his jizz load smells like foie gras? This is what we need to know.

In the meantime, here’s some pictures of Jenna, her father, her twinsies and their hot nanny hanging outside her house yesterday. Since Jenna has been through some shit, I will refrain from talking about how she looks like Muffy from Antz after getting the Wildenstein Special.

Baby Huey Got Arrested For Beating On Jenna Jameson

Jenna Jameson’s husband Tito Ortiz was put into handcuffs this afternoon after he allegedly got physical on her ass during a fight. TMZ says that the police showed up to the home Tito and Jenna share with their twin kids after someone called 911 to report a disturbance.

Tito is currently sitting in a jail cell in Huntington Beach, CA. Jenna told TMZ’s camera dudes that she will press charges against Tito. Jenna also said, “My babies are alright … everything’s OK .. he’s in jail.”

I’m probably alone on this one, but I always thought Baby Huey was a gentle giant out of the ring who named all the ladybugs in his garden and wouldn’t even hurt a furry caterpillar. It seems that my ass was wrong. Roid rage is a real thing.

Baby Huey needs to take a page out of Mike Tyson’s book and find solace in the pigeons. The pigeons will calm his angry ass down. Or maybe they will sense the evil in him and peck his eyes out. Whatever comes first.

Twins For Baby Huey & Jenna Jameson

The theme of the month is: whores having twins! This past weekend, Charlie Sheen welcomed twinsies to the world and now Jenna Jameson has popped out a double in Newport Beach, CA. That’s what AVN.com says.

Jenna queefed out her twins sometime this morning. Seriously, she just opened up, let the wind blow and out came the babies. They probably came out swinging on their umbilical cords through her cracked sugar walls. A bright light came shining out of her snatch. It’s like when Locke fell down the well on Lost. Only in reverse!

No word on what she named her babehs. I’m going to take a wild guess and say she wrote down Cunnilingus Sixty Nine and Fellatio Money Shot on their birth certificates.

Own A Piece Of Jenna Jameson

Jenna Jameson is knocked up with Baby Huey’s twins, so she doesn’t think it’s a good idea to have a silk couch around the house. If you want to lay on Jenna’s stank, it will cost you at least $9,500. Here’s the description from the eBay auction:

This barely used silk Casa Armani sofa belongs to Jenna Jameson. Now that she and her beau Tito have purchased a new home and are having twins, they have decided that a silk couch might not be necessary.

The original purchase price was at least double what it is being auctioned for.

If you replace the words “silk” and “couch” with “sick” and “cooch,” the auction might make more sense to you. Jenna’s sick cooch will set you back 9500 clams, but you’ll end up paying twice as much for the ass transplant you’ll need after catching all kinds of jungle diseases from that shit. As soon as you sit down, you’ll scream, “O mah Jeebus! Mah ass done combusted!” Normally when that happens to me, I just put a little Vaseline on it and then shake it off, but I don’t think that will work in this case.

VIA Socialite Life

Join The Club

Jenna Jameson has confirmed that she’s pregnant with twins. Yawn. Who isn’t knocked up with two babies nowadays? Bitch needed to tell us she was holding 8 babies in there for me to be slightly amused. And yes, she can hold 8 babies in her bony body. They can all chill out in her vagina cave. Shit. We can all chill out in there and play a game of dodgeball while watching the acrobats of Cirque du Soleil perform above us.

Anybigvaggy, Jenna announced the lovely news on her MySpace. Let me sum it up for you:

Yes everyone, I can officially confirm that Tito and I are expecting twins! I had my second ultrasound today and was greeted by two big healthy babies with pounding hearts. I can’t even express the extreme serenity that came over me once I saw my children inside me. It has been my dream to have children for an exremely long time, and I truly feel like finally… the time is right and god has blessed me. I have never felt more like a woman, or more alive.

I have officially gained 7 pounds so far, and am planning on a lot more. I crave fruit by the gallon… ornages and pineapple are at the top of my list. Cereal at 3 am suits me every night!

Is it just me or did you feel like you needed a hot bath in bleach after reading that? It might be my gutter tramp mind.

Congrats to Porn Mommy and Baby Huey! If she doesn’t name them Dildo and Ducky, I’m going to be very disappointed.