The Lohans have a little competition for the “dumbest dysfunctional family in the world” award. Yesterday, Hilary Duff’s mother called a court hearing to ask her future ex-husband for $25,000 to throw a 21st birthday party for Hilary. $25k?! Just give her a couple of sugar cubes and carrots! That will make her neigh in delight.
Susan Duff took the stand and said $25k is also what they paid for Haylie’s 21st birthday party two years ago. Susan also needs the money to buy Hilary a birthday pressie. Cheap bitch! Make her a fucking card! Susan, just print this out, sign your name at the bottom and give it to Hilary.
The $10k Bob Duff currently pays Susan isn’t enough to cover bills, so it’s certainly not enough to pay for Hilary’s stupid party. Susan said that Hilary feels emotionally abandoned by her daddy and deserves “to have some kind of recognition for a young life well-lived.” Susan went on to say that Bob is a millionaire and he has the money.
The judge ordered Bob to pay $12,500 to Susan for Hilary’s lame dog and pony birthday show. The judge didn’t stop there! He also threw Bob in the slammer for 10 days for selling assets not approved by the court. He must also pay back the $367,537 he earned from selling the stocks.
While Bob was led out of the court room in handcuffs, Susan said, “This isn’t what I wanted.”
Why can’t Hilary pay for her own dumb party?! When I turned 21, I had to pay for that shit myself! It was held at the luxurious Olive Garden because they used to give you a free chocolate cake at the end of your delicious meal! Not just a piece of chocolate cake either. A whole cake! For free! And they sang a beautiful and memorable song to me. This isn’t the same song they serenaded me with, but it’s just as crappy. Clip below:
Truth be told, I totally adore Haylie Duff. I always root for the underdog of the family. Underdog is just a nice way of saying “fuglier and less talented.” Haylie is also the older Duff sister which fucks up nature.
The young sister always lives in the shadow of the hotter, older bitch. Beyonce and Solange. Jessica and Ashlee. Michelle and DeeDee. I take that back. La Toya Jackson is way hotter than Janet and she’s older.
Fuck Hilary! Haylie’s career needs a little attention. If they ever do a “Friends” movie, she can play Janice’s fuglier and slower little sister.
Here’s Haylie and her sister at the Tribeca Film Festival premiere of “War Inc.” last night. It’s Hilary’s movie. Haylie is just there to stuff some bar snacks into her purse for dinner this week. Well, the bitch doesn’t work often!
Hilary & Haylie Duff were at a hearing in their parents’ divorce case in Houston today when some annoying reporter kept trying to talk to them or get a picture or something. The reporter kept lunging at them, but their bodyguards kept pushing him back. The girls and their mother walk through the maze of the courthouse as this dude keeps getting at them.
The reporter says something like, “Mam, I can’t believe your behavior here today” or something to that effect and Haylie responds, “Can you believe your job? You fucking (something).” The reporters fires back with, “Did you just curse?! Oh my God!” To which Haylie says, “Oh my God…you’re a pathetic loser.”
Usually I can’t stand these two show ponies, but that reporter is lucky he didn’t get Haylie’s horeshoe up his ass. Haylie should’ve let down her mane and gone wild on him.
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UsWeekly claims that Nicole Richie teases douchebag, Joel Madden, about his former relationship with Hilary Duff. Apparently, Joel ended shit with Hilary, because she wouldn't give up the panty.
A source said, "She will ask if he's going to watch Lizzie McGuire DVDs or listen to Hilary's albums. Joel tells her she's being out of line."
That's the best Nicole can do? She needs to go back to shit-talking school. I'd tell his ass to go wack off to pictures of Mr. Ed…I mean Hilary. I'd check his dick for teef marks from Hilary's horsey mouth.
That seahorsey can't swim! Hilary Duff got a major beating from the waves on the Jersey shore yesterday while filming "Greta." She had to be rescued by divers. HAH! Oh how I love seeing fugly celebrities in peril!
Hilary Duff and her pet pony, Haylie Duff, were eating at Pier 36 Seafood and Oyster bar in Texas when word got out that Lizzie Maguire was in the building. Soon little girls everywhere showed up with their posters for autographs. A witness claims that when she was leaving the owner's 9-year-old daughter approached her for an autograph, but Hilary turned her ass down and left the girl in tears.
"[Hilary] said, 'I don't really get to spend a lot of time with my family; sorry' and walked out the door. She made one of the little girls cry."
Wow, I can't believe little girls' still want this has-been's autograph. If the little girl tempted her with a sugar cube and carrots, Hilary would've definitely signed that shit.
