…..the hell?! All these fat, greasy whores get to be in Hawaii, but we don't. Something is seriously screwed up in this world. I thought Brandon Davis was broke as a joke! Maybe he's there as Paris Hilton's official genital wart popper.  

 

Okay, isn't he just a bit attractive? I mean…just a bit? You'd probably let him finger bang you. No lube required!

 

For someone who looks so damn dirty, he sure does have perfectly coiffed eyebrows!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is turning out to be one of Parasite Hilton's longest relationships. Things probably work with the Swedish Pizza Boy, because he can't understand a word that comes out of her vapid head. Poor boy is DOOMED. He's pretty now, but spending more time with Paris will only suck the pretty right out of him. 

 

Here's these two being gross with Fat Elvis last night in Los Angeles.  

 

 

 

Splash , Wenn

 

 

 

 

Guess who was having lunch with Fat Elvis aka Greasy Bear aka Brandon Davis yesterday? The one and only Fuggie Fug. Figures she'd dine with him. Two dirty birdies. She should dump that hot bitch Josh Duhamel and go with Fat Elvis instead. I'm sure he would be ok with her accidentally pissing in the sack. You know she does. He'd rub all over it, lick it and beg for more.

 

 

Wenn

 

 

 

Brandon Davis aka Fat Elvis aka Greasy Bear went to the Frederic Fekkai salon this past weekend for a little hair trim. This bitch was so greasy and oily that the shampoo person had to wear gloves while washing his hair. The hairstylist also wore rubber gloves to deal with his oil mop.

 

A source told Page Six, "He [Davis] was really out of it, sweating profusely. His eyes were half shut and he was asking for carrot juice, even after they told him they only had orange juice."

 

Maybe that fat fuck is trying to lose weight and taking that Alli crap? Everyone tells me Alli makes you shit pizza grease. Since Fat Elvis is full of shit it makes sense that his pores are oozing that oil shit grease. Sexy.

 

Hey, at least you don't need lube when he sticks it in the poop shoot.  

 

Image: Wenn

 

 

 

Page Six reports that Fat Elvis is a broke ass bitch. Reportedly he's been cutt off by his wealthy family for not getting his shit together. He was sent to rehab, but according to sources that did absolutely nothing. His family is tired of him "using and abusing" and no longer want to pay for his dirty habits.

 

He's also been asking for cash from friends, but nobody's willing to help. Sources say he's also been crashing at Scott Storch's Miami pad. Fat Elvis infamously bounced a $10,000 check to Joe Francis a couple of years ago. He was also on camera calling Lindsay Lohan "poor." Now who's the poor piece of trash?

 

While in Miami Fat Elvis has been hanging out with a model friend. Dumb ho probably doesn't know he's broke. A good golddigger will always do her research.

 

Here's Fat Elvis with Kim KardASSian at a fashion show in Miami yesterday. She's probably telling him they can make some dough if they release a sex tape together. SICK! A Fat Elvis sex tape would kill the porn industry. Nobody wants to see that oily dick in action. The only good thing about fucking FE would be that no lube is required.