Category: Auli’i Cravalho

Not Even Queen Latifah Could Save “The Little Mermaid Live!” From Drowning

November 6, 2019 / Posted by:

I was already mad that I had to push way too many buttons on my remote control trying to pull up The Wonderful World Of Disney Presents The Little Mermaid Live! on my DVR (I should only have had to type “the lit” before it popped up but that long ass title had it buried unda da mother fucking sea). That pretty much set the tone for my entire viewing experience. We knew from the teaser trailer that we were in for a low-budget cash grab, but whooah boy. Shaggy phoning it in as Sebastian, the alleged crab-looking Eddie Murphy in Delirious meets Edward Scissorhands drag, was not something I was prepared for. Thank The Gods for Queen Latifah because her Ursula the Sea Witch was the only life form in all of Atlantica that didn’t look like it was about to expire from eating too many plastic bags.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Teaser Trailer For “The Little Mermaid Live”

October 7, 2019 / Posted by:

So this is the live The Little Mermaid, not the one which is featuring a black Ariel and making racist people furious online. Although this one’s budget infuriates me. But I guess they splurged on Queen Latifah and had to cut corners on the marketing budget. This is a televised concert of Disney’s The Little Mermaid, which will also star Shaggy as Sebastian, so I can’t wait to see him and a lady crab bangin’ on the ocean floor.

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