So this is the live The Little Mermaid, not the one which is featuring a black Ariel and making racist people furious online. Although this one’s budget infuriates me. But I guess they splurged on Queen Latifah and had to cut corners on the marketing budget. This is a televised concert of Disney’s The Little Mermaid, which will also star Shaggy as Sebastian, so I can’t wait to see him and a lady crab bangin’ on the ocean floor.
TV Line says the cast, besides Queen Latifah and Shaggy, includes Graham Phillips as Prince Eric, John Stamos as the chef, and Auli’i Cravalho (aka Moana) as Ariel. Here’s the description of it:
“Never-before-seen hybrid format that will take viewers on a magical adventure under the sea as live musical performances by a star-studded cast are interwoven into the broadcast of the original feature film. The live musical event will feature beautifully intricate sets and costumes by three-time Emmy Award-winning designer Zaldy, with music from the original animated film and the Tony Award-nominated Broadway stage version, originally composed by eight-time Oscar-winning composer Alan Menken.”
And here’s the trailer:
So let’s talk about this trailer for one quick sec. What the fuck kind of Ursula look is this? I understand not wanting full lavender-colored body paint for a live-performance, but that’s how it’s done on Broadway! That sad purple eyeshadow isn’t cutting it. Looking like a half-assed Drag Queen at Drag Brunch Sunday after you accidentally washed the makeup off from the night before! Looking like you just got done for free at MAC Cosmetics by a trainee and didn’t buy anything.
And listen, does Shaggy think he’s too cool to wear a damn lobster costume! And I’m not even going to talk about John Stamos’ sad moustache because it is Photoshopped on and I don’t want you to think I care this hard about The Little Mermaid live action musical. But really, even though that teaser trailer looks like a cross between a Saturday Night Live parody and a local commercial for a discount costume store, I can’t wait to see the final performance, because again, I really want to see Sebastian bangin’ on the ocean floor.