Category: Afternoon Crumbs
Afternoon Crumbs
The trailer for the reunion of the first season of The Real World is out, and as expected, most of them move back into the NYC loft they filmed the original 1992 show in. The trailer promises as much drama as their original season, but I don’t know. Since they’re all in their 40s and 50s, my guess is that the biggest drama will be one of them going off on NextDoor over the neighbors throwing a party after 9 pm. And I say that “most” of them move back in because Eric Nies doesn’t live in the loft and just appears via video chat. It’s probably due to some coronavirus shit, but what is the point of even shooting a Real World: New York reunion if you aren’t going to get shots of a half-naked Eric Nies walking from the bathroom to his bedroom?! When someone signs up for Paramount+ to watch this, there better be a disclaimer that reads: Unfortunately, Eric Nies’ Nipple Knobs Do Not Make An Appearance In The Real World Reunion – Pajiba
Kenneth Branaugh as Boris Johnson or Kenneth Branaugh as Donald Trump in an off-brand Sandy Duncan wig? – Celebitchy
“I can’t be racist against Koreans, I drive a Korean car!” is the fucked-up anti-Asian reboot of “I can’t be racist against Black people, I have Black friends!” – Lainey Gossip
Afternoon Crumbs
The fall of KimYe has been drawn out longer than the vocal fry moan that Kourtney Kardashian lets out whenever the salad place gets her order wrong, but today, Kim Kardashian finally filed for divorce from Kanye West after 6 years of marriage, which is 6 years longer than we all thought it would last. This isn’t that surpring since we knew Kim was going to file for divorce any second now, but still, it’s a tiny bit shocking that she actually wants to get rid of a big ass. Kim wants joint legal and physical custody of their four kids (Kanye is fine with that) and neither is contesting the prenup. They’re already working on a property settlement. And as we all wonder who gets custody of the Robert Kardashian Hologram, Pimp Mama Kris’ minions are probably bitching over having to spend their weekend leaking more stories about this and preparing Van Jones to become Mr. Kim Kardashian #4 – TMZ
Samara Weaving is going to play Holly Madison in a limited series based on Holly’s book Down The Rabbit Hole. On one hand, I’m already heaving at the scene where a conveyor belt of blondes wait to take a ride on Hugh Hefner in his bedroom. But on the other hand, I’m thankful the limited series isn’t based on Kendra Wilkinson’s messy tweets because there’s not enough barf bags in the world to handle the scene where Holly has to get Hef fuck-ready again…. – Just Jared
From The Department Of Perfect Casting: Rutha Negga will play Josephine Baker in a limited series – Lainey Gossip
Afternoon Crumbs
The godfathers of The Real World (aka the original cast of the first season of The Real World) have all gotten back together to film a reunion series that will air on March 4 on Paramount+. Every OG cast member is back and they shot the reunion in the same loft they shot the 1992 show. Yes, it’s been almost 29 years since that show aired. My hip broke just from typing that. We’re all old! And of course, everybody remembers the first episode when Heather B’s beeper goes off and Julie asks, “Do you sell drugs? Why do you have a beeper?” Well, if a beeping sound goes off during the reunion series, Julie will probably say, “Whose pacemaker went off?!” – Just Jared
Donald Glover and Phoebe Waller-Bridge are working together on a Mr. & Mrs. Smith reboot series for Amazon. And as all of us spit out a “HUH?” over that random pairing, Donald Glover’s partner and Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s boyfriend are probably deciding whether or not they should be on set every day since they’re not about to let a reboot of Brangelina’s love happen!!! – Celebitchy
If the term “Instagram official” makes your eyes twitch, then your eyes were probably twitching it up yesterday since everyone went “Instagram official” including Vanessa Hudgens and her baseball-playing man Cole Tucker – Egotastic!
Afternoon Crumbs
Noted historian of ancient China and future highly-acclaimed romance novelist, The Original Fergie, wished everyone a Happy New Year by sharing artwork from an upcoming book of hers called The Legend of Ting Peng. Because I guess one way to get people to temporarily forget (not really) about the illegally gross accusations against your ex-husband is to make them laugh at you writing an Ancient China romance novel. Happy Lunar New Year! – Lainey Gossip
Okay, but that Conan The Barbarian-style van mural of Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell should be declared an illegal hazard to other drivers and destroyed immediately! – Celebitchy
Afternoon Crumbs
Madonna’s 24-year-old daughter Lourdes Leon has joined Instagram and when she’s not giving you pictures that say “Kylie Jenner in need of a chiropractor,” she’s getting calluses on her hands from draggging those leaving comments about her mother, good or bad. Like when someone called her mom’s album Hard Candy a masterpiece, Lourdes spit at them with, “your mother sucks wild dick.” And when another asked Lourdes what her mother would think about her thirst trapping, she slapped them with, “does your mom know you don’t wash ur ass.” And when someone asked her if she remembers playing piano during her mom’s Sticky & Sweet tour, she hit them with, “remember when u realized u would never amount to nothing.” DAMN! Madonna is going to be pissed about this and not because Lourdes is being an asshole to her fans, but because her Instagram is supposed to be the premiere headquarters for messiness, dammit! – Just Jared
There’s still a lot of time to die, because that James Bond movie, and other big movies, have pushed their release dates further into 2021 – Lainey Gossip
One of the most surprising things about the Trump sadministration is that they didn’t make COVID-19 expert and noted scientist Kelly Dodd of the Real Housewives of Orange County the head of the White House’s coronavirus task force – Celebitchy
New Year’s Eve Crumbs
As we all get ready to shave away the messiness that was 2020, Tom Hanks revealed that he shaved his dome for a movie role. No, unfortunately, the movie role isn’t the title role in Mr. Six: The Riveting Tale Of The Six Flags Mascot. The role is Elvis’ manager Colonel Tom Parker in Baz Luhrmann’s biopic about The King. Tom hates it and thinks his bald head scares children. Oh, Tom, the only scary thing about you is that you helped create Chet Haze! – Cinemablend
If you’re a friend or family member of Jada Pinkett Smith and you’re broke, don’t ask her, “Can you LEND me some money?“, because you’ll get an all-caps “NO!” back from her. What you need to do is keep it real and say, “Can your rich ass give me some money that I have no intention of paying back?” – Entertainment Tonight
Things between Lamar Odom and his ex (not the Kartrashian one) seem healthy and normal – Just Jared
Because coats from a civic light opera production of Mary Poppins don’t come cheap, Duchess Kate reportedly spent $127,000 on clothes this year – Celebitchy