Category: Anna Nicole Smith
Cell Phone In Ass
Basically, this dude right here shoved a cell phone up his ass. You see, Jeffrey Barrier was arrested at a tanning salon in Cincinnati for allegedly trying to take pictures of a nekkid woman. 41-year-old Jeffrey stood on a chair to get pictures of the chick. When the fuzz arrived, Jeffrey denied away and said he didn’t have a camera with him.
When the police searched his ass, literally, they found the shitty cell phone camera. Don’t ask me how this sick fuck got the cell phone up his ass. Don’t ask me to demonstrate either. I save fuckery like that for the end of the week. My ass needs a couple of days to recover.
Seriously though, he’s one talented butt fucker. I bet he can text his friends with his sphincter. And screw a mug shot! I want an ass shot! His ass can probably smile and wink for the camera too!
Source: The Smoking Gun
God Arrested For Selling Coke
Of course, not thee God. Thee God doesn’t sell coke on corners or make house calls! He makes bitches come to him. Anyway, a dude named God Lucky Howard was arrested near a Church in Tampa, FL for allegedly coke. Church?! Well, at least he’s capitalizing on his name. He could easily tell a crackhead, “God wants you to buy this” and he wouldn’t be lying.
God tried to sell coke to two undercover cops. They searched his kingdom and found 22 grams of coke and a scale. He was charged with selling coke and also charged with trying to sell it within 1,000 feet of a holy place. They should have added another charge for having the name GOD.
I blame his parents. Give a child a name like “God Lucky” and his life will be forever fucked. They might as well have named him “Inmate #567-890.”
Thanks Shy
Wino?
A British chick was busted at an airport in Norway for trying to smuggle drugs into the country. This dumb bitch stuffed her wig full of coke and then glued it to her head. Wig mule! The customs agent knew something in the milk wasn’t clean when they saw her big ass wig coming their way.
Customs officials said, “The agent thought she had a great deal of hair and suspected that she was wearing a wig. The wig was examined and the agents found a bag of cocaine.” The official went on to say that the crazy woman kept screaming, “BLAAAAKE!”
The police had to take the 32-year-old genius to the hospital to have her wig removed. The court ordered the woman to be held until her July 15th court date.
Check Wino’s hospital room right now! You will find a bed full of empty ice pop wrappers, a used-up tube of Gorilla Glue and a receipt for a plane ticket to Norway!
Thanks Gill
Get This Penis Off My Back!
A little baby in China was reportedly born with an extra peen on his back. The baby was born to a farmer and his wife in China’s Henan province. The Sun reports that the condition is called fetus in fetu. He was taken to the hospital and the extra peen was removed. Thankfully, baby is fine after surgery and all is well. Dick happens!
Why can’t I wake up with an extra dick on my back? I mean, a permanent dick on my back. It would make life so much more interesting.
The NSFWish picture of baby with a peen on his back is after the jump. JUMP!!!
Dumb Bitch Of The Day
On June 3, the po po pulled over a woman at the Green Acres Mobile Home Park in Loveland, Ohio because they suspected she was driving drunk. They found 29-year-old Marya Green with her 1-year-old son on her lap. The drunk bitch was letting him steer the car. She had an 8-year-old and a 5-year-old in the car with her.
They were only taking a little spin around the trailer park! Marya was teaching him how to drive, so that he could pick her up from the titty bar later on. At least she has a designated driver!
Marya’s blood alcohol level was at .111. Damn! How many cans of Hamm’s beer did she have?
She faces charges of DUI, driving under a suspended license and child engagement. This is her third DUI arrest in 6 years. Her kids were released to their father and CPS were notified.
Last year, there was a similiar case in Indiana. In that case, the dumb bitch let her 5-year-old drive her around. She said he was a “good driver.”
Thanks Mat
Once You Pop…..
Dr Fredric J. Baur, the inventor of the Pringles can, has passed away at the age of 89. Before his death, Fredric told his family that he wanted to be buried in one his creations. Yeah, he was cremated and part of his remains were put into a Pringles can. The other part of his remains were put in a regular urn. The can and urn were buried in his grave at Arlington Memorial Gardens in Cincinnati, Ohio.
His daughter said that he invented other shit like freeze-dried ice cream, but the Pringles can was his proudest accomplishment.
Don’t judge! I wanted to be cremated and buried in one of Shauna Sand’s exquisite lucite heels.
Seriously, the Pringles can always messes with my emotions. That shit should open from both sides! You can never grab the last chips and if you tip it over to pour them out, all the crumbs fall out.
R.I.P. Pringles can inventor man!
Bonus! Here’s a Pringles commercial starring Brad Pitt!