Sorry, I should have been a little more specific. After all, the man has been cosplaying as a greasy drunken pirate in his personal life for the past decade or so. I’m referring to the chance that Johnny Depp might once again clip in those little dangly beard braids and toss on about 15 pounds of silver rings to play Captain Jack Sparrow, pirate of the…whatever seas the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise takes place in. There was a rumor going around that Johnny’s big comeback from his career downturn as professional defamation plaintiff would be in an upcoming Pirates film as that beloved salt water-bound weirdo. But according to other sources, nobody should be holding their breath to see Johnny on the big screen doing his best Keith Richards impersonation.
The rumor of Johnny’s return started going around the internet yesterday, when it was reported by some people, like the New York Post, that Johnny was in talks to return to the Pirates series for $300 million. Four years ago, it was revealed that Disney was planning to reboot the Pirates of the Caribbean series, except that there would be no return of Johnny. That was around the same time that Johnny and his ex-wife Amber Heard were accusing each other of domestic abuse and violence. So, it made sense that Disney might want to distance themselves from their former cash cow. But Johnny’s latest defamation squabble came to a close earlier this month, and the general consensus was that Johnny emerged the most defamed of himself and Amber. So maybe Disney had a change of heart, and were ready to dump a truck full of coins into Johnny’s driveway.
But no, according to E! News, Disney didn’t whip out their checkbook, write out a 3 followed by eight zeros, and beg Johnny to come back to their pirate movies. Johnny’s rep called bullshit on the whole $300 million Pirates return, saying “This is made up.” E! also points out that Johnny spoke about returning to work at Disney during his defamation trial, saying that even if Disney approached Johnny with $300 million and a million alpacas, that he wouldn’t work with them on another Pirates movie. So what I’m essentially getting from this is that maybe Disney only came heavy with the money and not the alpacas. I’m sure someone at Disney is currently sourcing one million and one of those adorable llama-looking critters.
Or maybe Johnny is holding out for more money. Not too long ago, Johnny claimed that he lost $650 to $750 million that he made from the Pirates series. So getting Johnny back in those seafaring rags might cost Disney a whole lot of cash, should they feel so compelled to bring back one of their unofficially gay characters.
But let’s face it – nobody is bringing Johnny back to set for any reason until Johnny’s latest trial is over. He’s currently trying to settle a lawsuit from 2018, in which a location manager claims they were assaulted by Johnny on the set of City of Lies. Johnny is allegedly broke, he allegedly can’t count on his defamation trial damages from Amber Heard, who is also allegedly broke, and now Johnny might have to fork over a couple of million to make this lawsuit go away. That assault settlement might downgrade Johnny from Broke to Discount Rates Available. Any reasonable studio is probably like, “Let’s wait and see how this goes. We might be able to get him for $1000 and an alpaca-polyester blend scarf.”