Rolling Stone Published A Weird, Awkward Lost Interview Between Johnny Depp And Keith Richards

Back in May of 2007, Rolling Stone published a cover story and interview between Keith Richards, and his spiritual son Johnny Depp. Except the interview that made it into the magazine was not the original interview. Thanks to Rolling Stone themselves, we now know that the original interview was so messy, so weird, so uncomfortable, so off the rails, that they could not in good conscience publish it. Well, we’re all pretty desperate for content, and thanks to an ongoing global pandemic, we’ll pretty much accept anything no matter how poor or questionable the quality. And that might be why Rolling Stone has finally released the original interview from their very own version of the Disney vault after fourteen years buried away. Or maybe they released it because the vault was starting to smell too much like Marlboros, vodka, lighter fluid, and unwashed fedoras with that interview trapped in there like that.

Rolling Stone journalist Erik Hedegaard writes that he was given the interview between Johnny Depp and Keith Richards after Johnny specifically requested him by name. Erik says he interviewed Johnny previously, and they got along great, so when it came time for the interview with Johnny and Keith at the Chateau Marmont in early 2007, Erik was given the job. If you look for that interview now, you’ll see Rolling Stone credits a David Wild as the author. Erik says that after the interview turned out to be such a mess that the cover story and interview was reassigned and redone. The reason Johnny and Keith were doing a joint interview in the first place was to promote Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, aka the Pirates movie where Keith Richards makes a cameo as Captain Jack Sparrow’s daddy. The biggest takeaway from this original interview is that Johnny and Keith were not feeling it, to say the absolute least. It was as if someone replaced all their booze with sparkling water and all their addictive mouth-based consumables with candy cigarettes. via Rolling Stone:

“Richards took an instant, vigorous, and nearly chemical dislike of me and was soon threatening to stick a banana up my ass. No smiling, no kidding.”

Erik says that things were going okay enough in the beginning, with Johnny and Keith sort of jacking off each other’s egos and talking about the movie. Then Erik made the mistake of pointing out one of Keith’s skull rings and implying that Keith was inspired by Iggy Pop.

Vaguely, I wondered if it was somehow connected to the skull ring that Iggy Pop is known to wear. “The skull ring,” I said, “is that one of Iggy Pop’s skull rings or is that a different one?”

During the briefest of pauses, all light fled, darkness descended, and a sudden chill obtained the air.

Depp was the first to talk. “He’s the, he’s the originator of the skull rings,” he just about hissed, falling into the words. “This is the original one,” Richards said, coolly. Then he came forward. “I’ve been wearing it for 30-odd years. You didn’t know that? You didn’t know that Keith Richards was famous for his skull ring?”

If you ever want desperately out of a conversation with Keith Richards, apparently the magic words are “Iggy Pop,” because the skull ring conversation set the tone for the remainder of the interview. Like with Keith giving such excellent, pithy pull-quotes as, “Who cares? and “Pull my finger.”

“So, Keith,” I said, “what advice would you give Johnny about how he should live the rest of his life?” But Richards was having none of it. “He doesn’t need any fucking advice,” he growled.

“All righty then,” I said.

“Great,” he said. “Pull my finger.”

Taking a deep breath, I thought it best to change the subject and go with something innocuous. “When you woke up this morning, what was your first thought?”

“Who cares?” Richards said.

Trying to break the ice and get Keith and Johnny back on his side, Erik asked them to name the first thought they have in the morning, to which Keith fired back that anyone who remembers their first thought in the morning is a “fucking weirdo” before implying Erik should consider throwing himself off the balcony. When Erik asked if either could tell a joke, a horrified Johnny replied that he has a “mortal fear” of jokes and that he thinks the act of trying to make someone laugh is “manipulative.” When asked if it’s “manly” to wear makeup (a question that has truly aged like milk in 14 years), Keith answered with an implication of banana-based assault:

“Do you want to argue about it?” Richards said. “You go ask that of John fucking Wayne and see what you get, pal. A very pointed stick. And then there’s the funnel with a red-hot lead enema. And a banana up your ass. And, oh, baby, it’s coming.” No smiling, no kidding.

Keith allegedly brought up that ass banana once again, this time before asking Erik if he had a joint on him. Keith was pissed when Erik said he didn’t bring any with him. Also, remember when Johnny Depp was cast as the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland? That was perfect casting because Johnny and Keith started talking in riddles:

I asked them if they could list for me the seven deadly sins.

“Can you name them?” Depp said to me, levelly.

“I don’t think so.”

“Why do you ask us then?”

“Well, I thought maybe -”

“I’ll give you the eighth one,” Richards said.

“OK, what’s the eighth one?”

“Asking what it is if you don’t know the seventh one,” Depp said.

“Because if you don’t know the seventh, you can’t have an eighth, baby,” Richards said.

The interview, which lasted less than an hour, was officially over when Erik suggested Johnny and Keith have a thumb war. Erik says that after it was over and Keith left, Johnny ran back to him and chewed him out for doing a shit job. Later, Johnny allegedly wrote to Rolling Stone and complained about the interview, specifically the thumb wrestling suggestion, and that’s when it was reassigned. And in 2018, Johnny and Rolling Stone pretty much broke up for good.

Keith admitted a few years ago that he doesn’t really drink anymore. He was clearly drinking that night of the interview. He asked a stranger to pull his finger! That could mean death for Keith Richards! The man is essentially a spooky living mummy at this point. Forcing out that much compressed air from his body while yanking on one of his fragile bones? He could collapse like a Halloween lawn inflatable.

Pic: Wenn.com