Paris Jackson Says She’s Just Friends With Old Man Emile Hirsch
The good news is that you’re not old until 22-year-old Paris Jackson says you’re old. But the bad news is that according to Paris, anyone over 35 is ancient. Back to the good news, Paris enjoys the company of people all ages. But I’ve got more bad news. Some of those people she enjoys are the embodiment of are bad news, specifically the practically geriatric 35-year-old lady-choker Emile Hirsch. But in better news, despite Emile posting a picture of the two of them together with the caption “hiding out with you” on Instagram, Paris insists they’re just friends. However, in the worst of newses, what Paris actually said was “he’s actually one of the youngest homies of mine,” the phrasing and content of which has made this old crone right here break out in shingles and my last original tooth is now hanging by a thread.
According to E! News, Paris has “clapped back” at nosy internet people who questioned the age gap between Paris and Emile after Emile posted two recent pics of the two hanging out together. E! notes that Paris broke up with her previous boyfriend of two years, musician Gabriel Glenn, in August of last year.
E! says of the picture above that “the two seem to have attended an event for businesswoman Caroline D’Amore‘s Pizza Girl company, as Paris posted a pic from that event immediately before sharing the one with the Once Upon a Time in Hollywood actor.” Apparently, people assuming she’s dating Emile is almost as bad as being mistaken for a homeless person so Paris made sure to set the record straight.
Expressing support was Kate Bosworth, who commented with a heart emoji. Kate has been shooting the upcoming film The Immaculate Room with Emile. However, another commenter had a different take on the pic of Paris and Emile, writing, “This relationship makes me uncomfortable.”
In response, a separate social media user criticized the duo’s age difference, commenting, “Yeah me too, she’s only 22 and he’s 35….”
After reading this, Paris decided to set the record straight. “he’s actually one of the youngest homies of mine,” she replied. “one of my best friends is in their 50s. you probably don’t have friends older than you because elders may find you annoying or immature lol.”
“not to mention another close friend of mine is 76,” Paris continued. “age is but a number, i enjoy the company of people all ages. i am the student and teach of people from 5 years younger than me to 50 years older than me. nothing wrong with that.”
There are lots of reasons to be uncomfortable about the idea of Paris dating Emile given his arrest, stint in rehab and subsequent jail sentence for choking a woman at the 2015 Sundance Film Festival while blackout drunk. And Paris herself has spent time in treatment over the years. And though it’s not really widely known, just between you and me, she had a bit of a tumultuous childhood *whispered* (her dad famously had trouble identifying age-appropriate relationships.) All the same, Paris is insistent they are not together. She also posted this to her stories:
OK, we get it Paris. If anyone, of any age, sees Emile coming at them — protect your neck and run! Run like you’re knees don’t ache!
Pic: Instagram