Open Post: Hosted By Vagina-Scented Face Masks, Just In Time For Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2021 / Posted by:

Eat your pretentious, candle-sniffing heart out, GOOP! The latest craze in olfactory-busting grossness is to sell “slightly used” COVID-19 masks marinated in the finest of ladyparts, for the highly refined and discerning noses belonging to fetish-havers.

If you were around in eBay’s early days, you might remember stumbling across (or actively seeking out, in which case, no judgment, but I’m totally judging you) the numerous shady auctions for used underwear that had allegedly belonged to hot college students and had also allegedly been hygienically washed prior to shipping out (the washing claim was usually followed by a winking “Tee hee” on the part of the seller).

We’ve come a long way since then (no, we haven’t), and now there are classy web sites like snifffr and even Reddit to cater to their highly specialized needs. According to Vice:

If you see someone wearing a mask who seems particularly delighted, it might be because they paid for the pleasure of wearing a mask that smells like someone else’s genitals or feet.

“Imagine browsing the aisles at a store and enjoying my scent,” Cat’s listing on Snifffr, the worn panty-selling site, says. “I’ll make your mask-wearing more enjoyable!”

For fetish item sellers, the pandemic is an opportunity for a new kind of item: pussy masks.

Cat, who sells panties and socks as well as masks on Snifffr, said she’s been selling the masks for almost a year. “I think people like them because they’re able to enjoy a fetish outside of their home. I think it’s like a little secret only they know and it makes it risky and fun,” she said. “It’s personally thrilling to me knowing that a mask I’ve had in my panties or shoes is now being worn on someone’s face and they’re enjoying it.”

No shame in anyone working their hustle IN THIS ECONOMY, so Cat is definitely on to something here. It’s discreet enough that you can line your Target multi-pack discount cotton underwear with a pandemic mask and no one in your household will be the wiser, so you can derive almost as much of a taboo, nether-steeping thrill as the eventual buyer. Win-win!

Sidney77, who also primarily sells on Reddit, started selling masks a few weeks after the mandate, in March. “I wanted to offer something new and exciting and I enjoy making people happy in tough times,” she said. “The masks blend well in the panty fetish scene. It’s naughty!” She’s sold between 10 and 20 masks, and says that even people who don’t buy them still like the idea. Hers are $25 for the first mask and five dollars after that, and come with a photo set.

So we now know the real reason behind the recurring mask shortages. And the next time I see anyone on the street looking freakishly blissed-out behind their mask, I’ll totally assume they’re a snifffr customer.

Pic: Wikimedia Commons

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