JoJo Siwa May Have Come Out As Gay
Most of us olds have been cruising along contentedly, firm in the belief that Ariana Grande is the owner of the world’s most glamorous and voice-of-her-generation ponytail, but we’ve all been led astray this whole time, swept up in the alluringly deceptive, two feet of swingy prostitot WTF that pours from her head like a Chia Pet that mainlined Miracle-Gro.
No, the true spokeshair of everyone too young to vote belongs to the relentlessly blissed-out rider of rainbows and unicorns that is 17-year-old JoJo Siwa. JoJo’s brand of bow-wrapped positivity is a giant, throbbing question mark to those of us whose default is bleak and glum (all of us), but there’s something to be said for the sparkly beams of not-misery, real or not, breaking through the petty, bickering hellscape that is Dance Moms, which launched her career into the YouTube phenomenon that it is today. All of that gross upbeat shit duly noted, JoJo and her hair are now the objects of intense speculation across social media platforms, because they maybe-kind-of-sort-of just came out as gay.
According to Entertainment Weekly:
The Masked Singer and Dance Moms alum JoJo Siwa strongly suggested Friday on social media that she is a member of the LGBTQ+ community after a series of earlier posts caused fans to wonder if the YouTube sensation was hinting about her sexual orientation.
Tweeting a photo of herself, the young entertainer added the caption “My cousin got me a new shirt.” The shirt in question? A graphic T emblazoned with big blue letters that say, “Best. Gay. Cousin. Ever.”
Fans have been conjecturing all week about Siwa potentially coming out, as the 17-year-old posted a TikTok video singing Lady Gaga’s gay pride anthem “Born This Way,” posted a selfie on Instagram wearing a rainbow-striped tracksuit, and starred in a video alongside members of the L.A. queer TikTok collective Pride House that was soundtracked to Paramore vocalist Hayley Williams singing, “Ain’t it fun, ain’t fun, baby now you’re one of us.”
Here is the shirt, which generated plenty of support, along with a head-scratch of a reply from Lil Nas X that is making my seventh-grade English teacher go full rotisserie chicken in her grave:
if u spell “swag” backwards, it’s “gay”. coincidence??
— nope (@LilNasX) January 22, 2021
And here is JoJo’s TikTok take on Lady Gaga’s Born This Way, which is far more entertaining than Gaga’s inauguration appearance earlier this week:
And a Pride House appearance:
✨vibes✨ are perfect. #pridehousela
The comments are a mixed bag of “Woohoo, you’re one of us!” and “Sit down, y’all. She’s a minor and we should let her actually say something first before running with this.”
The thing is, we’re all still riding high on the last stubborn bronzer stains and old-man pee dribbles, along with the teleported tears of caged children, finally getting steam-cleaned from the walls of the White House; so that giddy wave is carrying everything in its path to lofty and glittery heights, and JoJo’s maybe-hints of gayelledom can’t help but get caught up in it.