Novak Djokovic recently outed himself as the Jenny McCarthy of tennis by explaining that he would not want to take a coronavirus vaccine if one were released saying, “personally I am opposed to vaccination.” So you’ll never guess what happened to a man who thinks like that about medicines meant to prevent life-altering illness. He caught coronavirus. And not only did he catch coronavirus, he caught it at a huge tennis tournament which he helped organize and was meant to raise money for coronavirus relief. Wow, Novak is as good at tennis as he is at catching COVID-19. It’s a coronavirus Grand Slam!
ESPN says that Novak announced today that he and his wife, Jelena Djokovic, have tested positive for coronavirus. But let’s digest how he got it.
First, he talked shit about the suggestion that players may be forced to take a coronavirus vaccine in order to return to professional tennis. (He later tried to clarify his comments, saying that he’s only against the COVID-19 vaccine being mandatory for travel.) Then, Novak criticized the US Open, which starts August 31, for going on without any spectators and putting limits on the size of a player’s entourage. And last month, he broke local lockdown rules in Spain by practicing at a tennis club when it was closed. And that leads us to his disastrous tennis exhibition tour.
The Adria exhibition tennis tour was meant to raise money and help people affected by the pandemic, but the games dealt with bad press over the complete lack of social distancing. There were packed stands and the players were seen partying at nightclubs. And you know what happened? Four players caught coronavirus. Novak, Grigor Dimitrov, Borna Coric, and Viktor Troicki (Viktor’s pregnant wife also got it) all contracted COVID-19. Grigor was the first to test positive, which led to the cancelation of the competition’s final in Croatia.
Novak, who is not showing symptoms but will remain in self-isolation for 14 days, said in a statement:
“Unfortunately, this virus is still present, and it is a new reality that we are still learning to cope and live with. I am hoping things will ease with time so we can all resume lives the way they were. I am extremely sorry for each individual case of infection. I hope that it will not complicate anyone’s health situation and that everyone will be fine.”
He also sort of apologized for putting on a tennis tournament in the age of corona:
“It was all born with a philanthropic idea, to direct all raised funds toward people in need and it warmed my heart to see how everybody strongly responded to this. We organized the tournament at the moment when the virus has weakened, believing that the conditions for hosting the Tour had been met.”
I know, this is the definition of shocking news and has knocked the mask right off of your face, I’m sure. Who would ever guess that a dude who didn’t take coronavirus seriously and ignored social distancing would catch coronavirus? Even the broken Magic 8-Ball I have in my garage would’ve told Novak, “You’re gonna get corona, motherfucker!”