Ellen DeGeneres Wants To Be A Better Person

June 7, 2020 / Posted by:

I know what you’re thinking: what is this, “pick-on-rich-white-ladies-we-used-to-love-but-eventually-stopped-because-they-couldn’t-keep-stupid-shit-from-falling-out-of-their-mouths day”? Well, J.K. Rowling has some company, because we’ve got another one!

Noted monster and pusher of kindness, Ellen DeGeneres, cannot seem to catch a break in 2020. First, there were those resurfaced claims regarding her legendary meanness. Then COVID-19 forced her to bring her show into her living room WITHOUT the help of any of her dedicated crew members. And now, she can’t even seem to mumble out some nonsensical gobbledygook about supporting Black Lives Matter without it blowing up in her constantly sunburnt face (seriously girl, it’s called SPF).

Last week, Ellen originally responded to the murder of George Floyd  with a twee that included, “For things to change, things must change.” That tweet has since been deleted after she experienced a ton of backlash, which is really nothing new for Ellen nowadays. And then she followed that deleted tweet up with a teary video where she said a whole lot of nothing.

Well now, Entertainment Weekly is reporting that as a result of that backlash, Ellen is committed to doing and saying MORE­—including helping the Black Lives Matter movement and being a more useful ally to the Black community. I mean, Ellen can’t even handle being an ally for the kindness community so don’t expect too much.

In a clip from Thursday’s at-home episode, Ellen claimed she wants to educate herself and her audience about the current socio-political atmosphere (I could never watch this show and I have minimal context so I don’t know who that creepy guy is, or what he’s doing, sitting outside, watching her disapprovingly, but his face and body language is pretty much ME while listening to her segment):

Here’s an edited transcript for anyone who doesn’t want to watch that video:

“I stand with the protestors who are exercising their rights and I want to be an ally fighting for change,” she begins. “As a white person, I don’t always know what to say. I think right now white people have to just sit in our discomfort and we have to admit there’s a lot we don’t know about black people’s lives and about a black person’s experience. There is horrible injustice towards black people that has been ignored for far too long.”

“I like to think that I’m doing my best, but I think it’s time that we have to look at ourselves and we have to say we have not done enough,” she said. “I want to learn how to be a better person, how to do better. I was the dancing lady for a little while and now I want to help educate my audience. I want to educate myself.”

Ellen is obviously working overtime to mend her image as the kindest person on television, and these statements are a step in the right direction, but there’s just something about her soulless delivery….. Maybe it’s because she’s yet to publicly pull out one of those giant checks from her show––the ones she gives to 3rd-grade teachers for making macaroni art and sharing them online. Maybe THAT’s the way to go, Ellen?

Pic: Twitter

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