If you find yourself running out of things to do during this COVID-19 quarantine, one way to pass the time is to go on the internet and search, “Stories about Ellen being a cold-hearted snake.” Because at this point, there’s enough material about Ellen DeGeneres’ alleged mean ways to keep you busy for the next three weeks. The Coles Notes of the situation is that Ellen is the boss from Hell, despite promoting kindness to the Ellen viewers at home.
Ellen is so allegedly heartless, you might think she’d respond to all that chatter by sarcastically dabbing invisible tears with her most recent bank statement, before retiring to one of her mansion’s many pools. But according to several sources who spoke with Us Weekly, Ellen is very concerned that those rumors aren’t going away.
Back in March, a Twitter thread was started by comedian Kevin T. Porter, who pledged to donate $2 to the Los Angeles Food Bank in exchange for every story about Ellen being mean. There were a lot of stories. Then in April, YouTube makeup artist Nikkie de Jager spoke about her experience as a recent guest on Ellen, accusing Ellen of being “cold and distant,” and saying that Ellen didn’t even come over and say hello to her before the show. Not long after, Variety published several accounts from crew members of the Ellen show, who claimed they were barely getting paid during the COVID-19 lockdown, and that Ellen had hired a non-union (aka less expensive) crew to work on her show from her home. We also heard from a former bodyguard named Tom Majerack who claimed that while working for Ellen at the 2014 Oscars, she never said hello to him or thanked him, and described the experience as “demeaning.” And I’m sure we’ll hear more as time goes on.
But cute dances and Disneyland giveaways can’t effectively kill all the bad press. And much like Lindsay Lohan in 2004, Ellen is tired of rumors starting. One source says:
“Ellen is at the end of her rope. She thought this was all just sour grapes from a few haters. But it’s not a passing thing – the hits just keep coming.”
And all that online hate is making things a little awkward for Ellen and her wife Portia de Rossi:
“Ellen’s so grateful to have Portia in her life as a soulmate and a sounding board, but that doesn’t mean it’s been easy,” a second source tells Us. “Their home life is strained right now. Her real friends never ask her to be funny or tell jokes. They accept her as is.”
The second source also says that we might as well nickname Ellen “The Teflon Terror,” because the viewers at home keep buying what she’s selling:
“Ellen’s been in our homes for so long, it’ll take a lot more than a bodyguard and a blogger to change how people feel about her. Her best response is just being happy Ellen on the show every day.”
What I’m getting from this is that Ellen is super pissed that the cracks might be showing in her Gee Shucks act. But she’s in denial, which means she can remain very rich and willfully ignorant to any of the criticisms lobbied against her. Although this can’t be good news for anyone in Ellen’s inner circle, given how cold and icy Ellen is on a good day. Normal Ellen? Cold. Angry Ellen? Freezing. Although I guess it’s good news for both the environment and Ellen’s energy bill. Why pump air conditioning through a whole mansion when Ellen’s demeanor can successfully drop the temperature in every room to a chilly 32 degrees?