Elon Musk Dragged Coachella On Twitter
Yesterday I felt a great disturbance in the world. As if millions of voices cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. Those cries belonged to influencers everywhere, who threw their Native American headdresses and flower crowns across their twinkle light-adorned bedrooms in a fiery rage. Because Coachella 2020 has been delayed until October. Officially. All because of that stupid coronavirus!
But there’s one person who’s glad Coachella is postponed. And that’s Grimes’ (confirmed!) bionic baby daddy, Elon Musk. Elon hit Twitter to share his pressing POV.
Elon tweeted this:
Coachella should postpone itself until it stops sucking
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) March 10, 2020
Was good maybe 5 or 6 years ago when you could wonder around & find great unknown bands
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) March 10, 2020
When the billionaire king of Tesla cited “corporate sponsorship” as the reason Coachelle sucked, my eyeballs did a full 180, right into the back of my head. I saw my brains. Thanks a lot, Elon! Coachella also took note of this hypocrisy, and hissed back with this picture of Jaden Smith at the festival, performing on a Tesla Model X car, hovering above the stage:
lol pic.twitter.com/t3f18vDYqq
— Coachella (@coachella) March 10, 2020
Even Elon had to admit it was a pretty good burn (much like the one Coachella-ers were counting on contracting cum April):
Ok fine, that was good haha
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) March 10, 2020
These two need to stop fighting. Yes, Coachella sucks, but it ain’t just because of corporate sponsorship and its homophobic owner! It’s because all music festivals suck (and yes, you’re getting my personal POV here). Outdoor toilets? $20 single drinks? And why’s it always muddier than a WWI trench?! Ugh, I’m too old for that shit.
Anyway, Elon’s just sore Coachella wouldn’t let him perform his sick new EDM track. And after so many months of painstaking choreo rehearsals.
Pic: Wenn.com