In between wanting to have a baby with his mom and wanting to leave Saturday Night Live because of being made fun of too much on a show that makes fun of everyone, 26-year-old Pete Davidson is still pretty bitter about Ariana Grande and feels like sharing with us how much of that bitterness is still eating away at him, like Ariana’s saliva enzymes ate away at that donut she molested with her tongue.
According to E! News, Pete has a Netflix special out titled Alive From New York, and in that special he unleashes his feelings toward Ariana. Pete says that his ex is “fair game” and that “she has, you know, her songs and stuff and this is what I have, okay?” Pete didn’t care for Ariana spilling her guts about him and fellow ex Mac Miller, and the fact that she called him an “amazing distraction” hurt his feelings. Pete also mentions how there’s a double standard to behaviors between him and Ariana, such as how she looked on her Vogue cover, among other things:
“Could you imagine if I did that? My career would be over tomorrow if I spray painted myself brown and hopped on the cover of cover of Vogue magazine and just started shitting on my ex… Can you imagine if I did that shit?”
But yet, shitting on his ex in a Netflix special is okay. Okay. Here’s that cover:
Salty Pete also addresses how he got labeled “butthole eyes” while she went on to be “Woman of the Year”:
Pete says she went on to win Billboard Woman of the Year for 2018, while he was branded “Butthole Eyes,” a moniker that’s stuck with him. “So sometimes, life is a little unfair,” he chuckles.
And Ariana’s song about him and her other exes “Thank U Next” wasn’t a hit with his grandpa who said, “Peter, it’s a slap. I’m really sorry. It’s a good song and I don’t even listen to that shit.” And Pete then went on to act like he was really upset about Ariana saying he’s got a big dick.
“I didn’t like it because it’s just simply not true. She has little tiny little hands. She has very little hands, everything’s fucking huge to her. It was a fucking joke the entire time we were dating,” he shares. Nonetheless, Davidson states it was “genius” really, because now every other girl he shares a bed with will be “disappointed.”
In the end, Pete really doesn’t seem too terribly disappointed, because the Ariana drama caused him, in his words, to become “famous and a household name for no reason.” So everyone is a winner, here, except for those of us who made the decision to follow that shit. And anyone who decides to watch Pete’s special should send him and Netflix a bill for $300 since you sat there and listened to him bitch and moan about his ex like you’re his therapist. It’s the least Netflix can do!