Who Is December’s Hot Slut Of The Month?
This Hot Slut of the Month showdown is coming to you early, and it’s going to be a quick one, because we have to get to crowning our Hot Slut of 2019 before we either drown in World War III memes or end up on Mars after stowaway-ing on a NASA rocket to get away from this mess of a planet (wait, let me Google “Is there WiFi on Mars?” first). Like we do every damn month, the first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes, and the fourth is a wild card picked by me. Your choices for December are:
The Peloton Wife, whose saga we all know by heart by now.
The Santa Raccoon, the pet raccoon from Russia whose human put ’em in a Santa suit to take them grocery shopping just days before Christmas. In that screen shot, the raccoon is looking at the Peloton Wife like, “I’m a pet raccoon who is being forced to do Santa drag and go shopping days before Christmas, and even I feel sorry for your ass.”
Celine Dion’s Phoenix Shoes, the gorgeously exquisite heels that a Canadian designer made just for the Queen of Canada and are supposed to be a rising phoenix but look more like the “non-meat” chicken I’d serve to my vegan sister.
Ben Franklin, the mastermind criminal dog who pretended to be a therapist to get a job at the police department so he could steal toys from the toy drive during the holidays. Can’t wait for his Netflix true crime dogumentary.
Voting is below! The winning HSOTM will be named on Tuesday (January 7) and that’s when we’ll begin our journey to find our next HSOTY deity!
Pics: Peloton, YouTube, Instagram, Boston 25 News