Donald Trump Jr. Makes A Perplexing Case For His Dad Not Being Racist
When your dad is the President of The United States, even if you’re not smart, well-liked, or attractive, you’re gonna get a book deal. Just comes with the territory. Donald Trump Jr. is no exception. He has a new book out called Triggered and if you’re wondering if it’s any good, you’re probably suffering from a traumatic brain injury and should seek help immediately. I shouldn’t say that, it’s unfair. I haven’t read the book, I’m just racist against ignorami. Whether the ignorami can be considered a race is a subject of debate for a different time. But according to Vanity Fair, known ignoramus DTJ would have you believe that his dad Donald Trump can’t possibly be racist because he used to let his kids hang out and play video games with Michael Jackson.
Putting aside the fact that Triggered is a shifty and lazy title that only an ignoramus would use, the book’s entire existence is an affront to the good, hard working, brained people of American. In it, DTJ makes his truly mind-boggling case for his pops being the second coming of Martin Luther King Jr (it’s the only example of a non-racist they can understand) because he allowed one of the most famous people in the world, who also happened to be black, use his penthouse elevator. And he didn’t even make him wear a uniform and stand silently in the back!
In his new book, Triggered, the president’s eldest son questions how anyone could possibly have the audacity to call his father a racist when, in fact, Trump Sr. let his kid hang out with a black man as a kid.
“Oh, and by the way, given all the things my father has been called, particularly a ‘racist,’ it sure sounds odd that he’d let his son vacation with a black man or hang out with Michael Jackson, doesn’t it?” writes Junior. “If he’s a racist, he’s sure not very good at it.” (He adds that Jackson lived in Trump Tower and would come over to play video games with him and Eric when they were young.)
I wonder who the black man they went on vacation was. Probably Bill Cosby. Can you imagine thinking you were helping with this statement? This is like me saying that I’m not prejudiced against redheads because I let my kids go to McDonald’s and get hepatitis in the ball pit, but Ronald McDonald’s an OK guy. And I’m not, by the way. Some of my best friends are pasty faced redheads. And I once had a sex dream about Carrot Top, the memory of which still curls my toes to this day. You know, I always thought of myself as a passive ignorami racist. I never believed they shouldn’t be afforded the same basic human rights those of us with functioning frontal lobes enjoy. But now, now I’m not so sure.
Pic: Wenn.com