Open Post: Hosted By French’s Mustard Ice Cream

August 1, 2019 / Posted by:

If you like mustard and you like ice cream, and more importantly like combining two things that have no business being combined, then French’s and Coolhaus have made all your sick fantasies come true with the invention of mustard ice cream.

According to Delish

For all those sitting around concerned they haven’t gotten their National Mustard Day plans in order yet, don’t fret! French’s has it all taken care of…in the form of mustard-flavored ice cream.

Yes, beloved readers. In celebration of the momentous day (which is August 3rd, for those of you who don’t have your priorities straight), French’s and Coolhaus came up with the concoction. Per People, anyone who’s interested in trying it can do so at any of Coolhaus’s New York City or L.A. locations later this week. At Coolhaus’s Culver City location, you’ll also be able to get it from August 9-11.

Unless you’re making something gourmet that’s extra special, like the KFC Cheeto chicken sandwich, then this whole “combining two great things to make one awful thing” thing needs to be stopped. That said, I do understand the want to combine two random things, for example, my husband loves Alec Baldwin and watches, so I bought him an Alec Baldwin watch, which he never wears, and strangely enough, it doesn’t shout, “You rude, thoughtless little pig” when the alarm goes off.

Some luckies over at Delish were able to sample the mustard ice cream and gave it some Aretha Franklin-level shade by saying, “It’s really not so bad.” 

We were fortunate (?) enough to get our hands on the stuff ahead of its official release and are here to report it’s really not so bad. Sure, the radioactive yellow color is “extremely off-putting,” one editor who tried it noted, but once “you get it in your mouth, it has a very nice creamy texture to it. It doesn’t kill you.”

Well… I’m glad it doesn’t kill you. That’s what you want from an ice cream. I’m going to use those arguments when describing myself on like a job interview, “I’m really not so bad and I won’t kill you.

The editors who sampled the mustard ice cream also said it had distinct flavor to it, just not a distinct mustard flavor.

If “it doesn’t kill you” isn’t enough of a ringing endorsement for you, please know that other editors who smelled and tasted the ice cream were surprised to find it smelled like cotton candy and bubblegum and tasted strangely French vanilla-y. The staff’s conclusion? “It doesn’t taste like mustard.”

Yikes! Even though not tasting like mustard is probably a good thing, it does feel disappointing. You had one job mustard ice cream, we wanted gross tasting mustard ice cream that made us heave out parts of our stomach!! Not french vanilla-y bubble gum-smelling nonsense. Hopefully this can fixed before National Mustard Day, or else you mustard ice cream-loving nasties will have to continue to squirt mustard in your mouth while eating vanilla ice cream.

Pic: French’s

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