At long last, the teaser trailer for Elizabeth Banks’ Charlie’s Angels reboot is here. And based off the two minutes and 53 seconds of trailer we got, it sadly looks like they only got about 10% of the disguises budget from the Cameron Diaz/Drew Barrymore/Lucy Liu films.
Hell, they even had to reuse some of the old outfits (which was probably an homage to the first movies, but just go with it).
My guess is they had to spend most of their money on explosions, fake weapons, and Kristen Stewart’s wigs (there are so many wigs). And whatever was left over went to Miley Cyrus, Ariana Grande, and Lana Del Rey for the theme song.
In the trailer, we have Kristen Stewart, Ella Balinska, and Naomi Scott giving you a mix of James Bond, Mission: Impossible, The Dark Knight, and whatever you’d get if Instagram influencers ditched the Fashion Nova for flame-retardant activewear. Oh, and did I mention the wigs?
Charlie’s Angels was all about disguises. And while this reboot is trying to be a little more of-its-time, it still leans heavily into the whole crime fighters-in-cosplay thing. A fun drinking game would be to take a shot every time you see Kristen Stewart in a new costume in the three-minutes of trailer. At least I assume it would be a fun game; I haven’t yet played it, because it’s pretty early in the day for me to be fall-down drunk.
Rounding out the cast are Elizabeth Banks, Patrick Stewart, Djimon Hounsou, and Sam Clafin as a whole bunch of Bosleys. You also get to hear a snippet of the theme song for this one too. Charlie’s Angels had Destiny’s Child, Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle had Pink, and this Charlie’s Angels has Miley, Ariana, and Lana. That’s kind of a strange line up to me, because I always pictured the people singing as being honorary Charlie’s Angels themselves. But all three would be terrible Angels. Miley would turn her secret hairspray gun into a bong. Ariana would steal all the costumes and wigs and vanish into the night. And Lana Del Rey just wouldn’t care. “The bad guys have a bomb and plan to destroy us all? That sounds perfect, I’ll see them at 8 in my best vintage veil.”