Somebody get Chris Pine on the phone and let him know that Harrison Ford says only Harrison Ford gets to be Indiana Jones. Then please ask Chris Pine to make a courtesy call to Chris Pratt and let him know that his services won’t be needed for any future remake, reboot or re-imagining of Indiana Jones, and that Harrison Ford has no idea who he is. Yes, I’ll wait. I’ll wait a lifetime if it means I get to see the crestfallen look on Pratt’s face when he hears the news that he’s Harrison’s “WHO?”. The One And Only full grown Indiana Jones (River Phoenix as young Indy doesn’t count because in that world, Harrison was still the definitive Indiana Jones) appeared on NBC’s Today, whipped out his dick and pissed a perimeter around himself stating unequivocally that he is, and will always be, the only Indiana Jones of record.
According to Entertainment Weekly, Steven Spielberg and Harrison are working on a fifth installment of the Indiana Jones series because the last one, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, made a shit ton of money for Disney. When that movie came out in 2008, Harrison made it clear that his movie son Mutt, played by Shia LaBeouf, wasn’t going to ever replace him (RIP Mutt). And I guess that goes double for any fly-by-night Chris’ trying to come for his bullwhip and hat.
“Nobody is going to be Indiana Jones, don’t you get it? I’m Indiana Jones,” the 70-year-old said while laughing. “When I’m gone, he’s gone. It’s easy.”
In the past, speculation has pointed at Chris Pratt as someone who could lead the franchise in a potential reboot. But Ford doesn’t agree; he is adamant that the role he first brought to life in the 1981 film Raiders of the Lost Ark should die with him.
While joking about how Pratt will take the news he’s just announced about the fate of Indiana Jones, he mixed up his Chris’s — as is easy to do when there are plenty to choose from in Hollywood today.
Here’s Dr. Henry Walton “Indiana” Jones Jr. letting these kids know that if they want to reboot Indiana Jones, they better change his (or her) name to Pennsylvania Smith.
Man, I love Harrison Ford. pic.twitter.com/JQ6HY3lyk3
— Tanooki Joe™️ (@TanookiKuribo) May 24, 2019
Don’t be sorry, Harrison! You have every right to make sweeping, hard and fast casting rules on the fly, on live TV and there ain’t a goddamn thing Steven, Disney or Chris’s Pratt, Pine, Evans, Hemsworth, or Luda can do about it. I mean, you’re Indiana Jones! Would that it were we could say the same about Han.
Pic: NBC via Twitter