Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 28, 2019 / Posted by:

Michael B. Jordan’s unicorn barfed-on harness!

If you’re the kind of freak who gets off from having leather suffocating your tits as you do fuck times in the privacy of your dom’s dungeon but are too shy-like to wear your harness out in public, then you are living in the era you were meant to live in. It’s YOUR time! Because the harness is being pulled out of sex clubs and has made it to the mainstream. Adam Rippon led the formal harness trend by doing himself up as a twink sub James Bond at the Oscars last year. Designer Virgil Abloh gave the harness a starring role in his first men’s collection for Louis Vuitton, and at The ESPYS in July, Chadwick Boseman wore an LV harness while looking like the leader of a sex cult I definitely want to join. Then Timothee Chalamet (also in Louis Vuitton) went for twink goth figure skater glamour by wearing a sparkly harness to the Golden Globes this year. And that brings us to Michael B. Jordan who kinked up a boring ass suit with a Louis Vuitton harness at the SAG Awards last night.

Chadwick went for a simple virginal angel harness, and Timothee went for a sparkly Las Vegas Tom of Finland harness, but Michael B. Jordan added some pastel butt splatters to the harness game. If a unicorn swallowed up an entire bowl of the Louis Vuitton monogram and then violent sharted on a harness, it would look like the harness that MBJ wore last night. In other words: STUNNING!

That harness also screams “big loser of the paint ball championships sponsored by Louis Vuitton.”

And nobody show these looks to my dog, because bitch already sashays down the street like he’s too good. If he knows that the dudes of Hollywood are working the harness look, he’ll really start feeling himself and an extra wiggle to his sashay since he’s been wearing a harness for years. Often imitated, never duplicated!

Pic: AP

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