The world may be a mean, nasty place going to shit (and that’s just Twitter), but the heavens opened a glimmer last night…and it surprisingly had something to do with Simon Cowell. When former Hot Slut of the Week Susan Boyle first appeared on Britain’s Got Talent in 2009, her voice of an angel melted even the most cynical, breathing lumps of coal hearts most of us around here are known to have. Thanks to her genuinely innocent ways to Pebbles the cat, she became a star. Susan has had a tough road to fame with pain-in-the-ass celebrities and singers not necessarily being the nicest about her upstaging them on their own music, but she may not be as delicate a flower as we once thought. She’s returning to compete and was on the stage for America’s Got Talent: The Champions last night.
HuffPo says that last night was the first time Susan has performed for Simon since 2009. To be honest, I was a tad nervous because Mel B was on Jessie Ware’s podcast a few weeks ago and said, while she liked Susan as a performer, she’s an “acquired taste.” Dusting off an old favorite of hers, Susan performed “Wild Horses” by the Rolling Stones in impeccable mother of the bride garb. Mick Jagger wishes he could look as refined as Susan when he warbles out his version! In short, Susan blew every wig, roof, and eyebrow off in the vicinity. Simon appeared to like what he heard:
“I can’t think of any other contestant who has defined this show better than you.Y ou’re the one.”
All the judges seemed to go ga-ga over Susan, with Howie Mandel saying he always expects “the Susan Boyle moment” from contestants. Mel took it a step further by making sure Susan didn’t have to slog it out with the peasants to make it to the finals. She slammed down on the golden button, which immediately vaults a performer into the final round of competition.
You hear that, Pebbles?! Mama is going to be able to get you back AND pay for some even nice Whiskas! I know there was chatter of Pebbles going to live with someone else, but Susan mentioned her cat in her intro, so I’m telling myself the two of reunite every Friday night at their favorite Scottish pub. Also, Mel, don’t fuck this up, either. Victoria Beckham may want nothing to do with your Spice Girls reunion, so just have Susan put on a black Gucci dress and be Posh 2.0! You can check out Susan’s full performance below: