No, Thomas Markle Is Not Doing His Own Clothing Line 

August 16, 2018 / Posted by:

Duchess Meghan’s family is continuing their trend of being the absolute grossest by keeping their names in the tabloids for literally no reason other than making a dollar. Sorry, a pound: this is England, so that’s like $1.27, which is better… I guess. While the Meghan’s mom may be moving to England to be closer to her, Meghan is trying to get her father to catch a plane to Mars because he just will not STFU.

Page Six reports that Samantha Markle, Meghan’s half-sister and the mouthiest of the bunch, put out a tweet saying that her father, Thomas Markle, is putting out a clothing line. I guess wearing ill-fitted clothes is a qualification for fashion design? I mean look at Kanye West, you don’t need style to style these days, so Thomas is going to take a stab at it.

“So excited about my father’s new #clothing line for men! Will keep you posted!” Samantha tweeted on her private account, once again showing me that she has no idea how to use her private Twitter account since hashtags don’t matter when you’re PRIVATE!

This is the same sister who defended her need to cash when she said:

“Let’s face it — we all have to survive. Money makes the world go round, so if you want to call that cashing in, that’s fine, but I think no one in media would refuse a paycheck for talking about the royal and, as a family, we’re not subject to royal protocol.”

Unfortunately for Samantha’s fame-whoring, but thankfully for humanity, TMZ quickly put an end to Thomas’ potential fashion aspirations. They have a source who says that this is totally not true. Apparently “the only credible part of Samantha’s additional claim that Thomas is focusing on a line of hoodies for older dudes… is that he does indeed like to wear hoodies.” 

It looks like the world will never know the fashion stylings of overly baggy dress pants, or wide-waisted blazers. No UK man will get the honor of having scratchy, low-quality fabrics itching their shoulders as they proudly showed off their Thomas Markle-designed garbage. It could have been called Royal Adjacent by Thomas Markle and the emblem could have been the Queen looking visibly drunk and chilling on the Geordie Shore.


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