As you may be aware, America’s Royal couple, Beyoncé and Jay-Z are currently out on tour promoting their new music. People would do crazy things to get into that concert; catch a Sugar Daddy, borrow money, attempt credit card fraud. Everyone is dying to go see Blue Ivy‘s mom (and I guess her dad too) perform, including one Zemarcuis Devon Scott, an 18-year-old kid who tried to steal a fucking plane in order to get to the concert. Would you commit a felony for Beyoncé tickets?
According to the Texarkana Gazette, on July 4 Zemarcuis was arrested at the Texarkana Regional Airport where he was planning on stealing and flying a plane to the On The Run II tour. In the early morning times, airport security called the police about a man jumping a fence and trying to get into a jet. When officers arrived the man, who ended up being Zemarcuis, had already managed to get on board. How easy is it to break into a plane? Is it just a handle? Is there no key? How did he manage this? Also, how big are this kids balls that he stole a plane solo? I can’t even order Taco Bell from the counter alone.
The police shone their light in the plane’s cockpit the way they would a steamy car windshield when people were fucking inside, but instead of finding some horny teens involved in unprotected sex, they found a man a trying to steal the plane. Since this is a post-9/11 world and we are on alert for this very kind of shit, the officers drew their weapons ready to partake in some counter-terrorism, telling the wannabe plane thief to keep his hands where they could see them. Two of the three police officers then recognized Zemarcuis from previous encounters, so they got the door to the plane open and brought him into custody.
Zemarcuis was charged with commercial burglary and attempted theft of property with a value greater than $25, 000. Both are felonies, and he could walk away with three to ten years in prison and a fine up to $10,000 each. Although to be fair to Zemarcuis, tickets to the concert are so expensive the fine is actually kind of comparable. He is being held in county jail and is expected to appear in court later this month.
Wanna know the stupidest part? Not that any of these moments were winning choices. This Zemarcuis kid does not even know how to fly a plane. When the police asked him about this, he allegedly replied that he didn’t think “there was much more to the task than pushing buttons and pulling levers.”
If Zemarcuis really wanted to get Bey and Jay’s attention what he should’ve done was attached a banner to the plane saying: “Subscribe To Tidal!” Even if he still failed at flying, the free advertising for their debatably successful streaming service would definitely earn Zemarcuis some bail money as well as backstage passes.
Pic: Miller County Sheriff’s Department