Pete Davidson Picked Up Ariana Grande’s Engagement Ring Last Month, The Same Month They Began Dating

June 12, 2018 / Posted by:

Many of us have had dried cum stains from a one-night trick last longer on our thigh than Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson’s entire relationship has lasted so far, but their love (or something) is strong enough for them to want to get married. Ariana and Pete got engaged very recently, but TMZ says that he’s been planning to propose for a while and by a while I mean a few weeks, which is decades in AriPet time.

Sources say that last month, Pete paid a visit to NYC jeweler Mr. Flawless and picked up a VVS1 clarity 3.03 carat diamond that’s set in platinum. The ring reportedly cost $93,000. The extremely-accurate Celebrity Net Worth says that Pete’s net worth is $500,000, so either he spent one-fifth of his fortune on that ring, or he shook out Ariana’s ponytail and collected the gold coins that fell out of there. Pete was with Larry David’s daughter, Cazzie David, for two years and he barely announced their break up last month, so I guessed that maybe he initially had the ring made for her and then gave it to Ariana. But sources claim he had the ring specifically made for Ariana and it took two weeks to make. This is what it looks like:

That gaudy Disney Store-looking ass princess ring looked huge to me until I realized that Ariana’s finger is probably the size of a fly’s eyelash, so it’s not that big.

Let’s recap: Ariana and Pete were reported as a thing around May 19. Pete “picked up” his engagement ring for Ariana last month. The ring took two weeks to make. Ariana was seen wearing the ring on June 2 while performing at Wango Tango in Los Angeles. So if Pete picked up the ring on May 31, that means he ordered it on May 17, a week after it was reported that Ariana broke up with Mac Miller. Ugh, fuck these two for making me do math. But if I punch all that info into a calculator, I get these two possible answers:

  1. This is a stunt, and the person who is orchestrating it isn’t good at math either.
  2. These two have been rubbing genitals for longer than a month.

Can a mathematical genius (aka someone who knows what the answer to 3÷3 is) check my work and let me know if I’m right? And then also let me know what the answer to 3÷3 is. I’m stuck.

Pic: Instagram

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