Sir Ian McKellen Has already Planned His Funeral, And It’s Going To Be Fabulous

April 18, 2018 / Posted by:

Sir Ian McKellen is 78 years old. The average life expectancy of a man in the UK is 79.4. So it’s only natural for him to regularly think about the day when a million “Sir Ian McKellen Has Left Us. What Is The Point Of Going On?” headlines pop up after he waltzes with the Grim Reaper up to the heavens. The Independent says that in a new documentary about his life called McKellen: Playing The Part, Sir Ian says that every single day, he thinks about the moment when death takes his ass. Me too, Gandalf, me too. It’s nice to know that when Sir Ian and I both lay awake at night, we think about how one day we’ll be lying in a coffin. Only I think about how the doctors will forget to check that I’m dead dead, and the mortician will forget to embalm me, and I’ll wake up in my coffin and curse my family for not cremating me like I asked! Don’t know if Sir Ian has the same vision or not.

Sir Ian says in the documentary that he thinks about death when he looks around and sees others shriveling down into non-working raisins, and wonders if that’ll happen to him.

“As I see other people getting decrepit and unable to work, I think, well, that may well happen to me… But in the meantime why deny myself the pleasure of rehearsing a play?”

Also in the meantime, he’s working on his funeral and memorial. Sir Ian says that his funeral will be free of religion. It’ll be in a theater and on the door of the theater will be a note that reads: NO FUGS ALLOWED!

“I would like the memorial to take place in a celebratory way — in a theatre. Free admission. And I’d want a lot of beautiful people. And when I finished this I thought, ‘Ooh, I’d love to go to that funeral.’ So I hope I might arrange a dress rehearsal before I go.”

Having a dress rehearsal for your funeral is a good idea, because then you can bitch out your family members for their flower, song and outfit changes to their face instead of doing it as a ghost they can’t hear. But I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for Sir Ian to have a dress rehearsal for his funeral. I don’t know if he can take the hotness and talent he’ll be hit with while watching Sir Patrick Stewart’s interpretive dance about their friendship.


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