Whenever I read a headline about Prince Hot Ginge dating a new trick, I usually run over to the not-at-all Photoshopped picture of him and I on my bedside table and yell at his face for doing me wrong. But when I read about his newest-maybe piece at the always-truthful Sunday Express, I didn’t do any of that. I’m into this maybe-union. PHG usually only gets with stringy-haired blond Brit chicks, but this one is American (GASP!), a divorcee (DOUBLE GASP!), is bi-racial (TRIPLE GASP!) and a commoner actress who is on a basic cable show, not even HBO (QUADRUPLE GASP!). PHG is reportedly rubbing his fiery nipple knobs on actress Meghan Markle from the show Suits. THE QUEEN just fainted on a Corgi as Prince Philip thought, “Hmm, I wonder who she sponges off of?”
The Express thinks that 32-year-old PHG and 35-year-old Meghan first met in Toronto in May when he was in town to promote the Invictus Games. Meghan lives in Toronto because that’s where Suits films. The Express’ source says that Meghan has visited PHG in London several times, and during the summer, she was seen in the Royal Box (wink wink) at Wimbledon. She’s apparently already met Duchess Kate and Prince William. Like PHG, Meghan does a lot of charity work and the source says he’s absolutely “besotted” with her. In this case, “besotted” may or may not be fancy British talk for coochmatized.
“He’s happier than he’s been for many years. They are taking each week as it comes and just enjoying each other’s company but it’s fair to say that they love seeing each other and there’s a definite chemistry between them. Harry has been desperate to keep the relationship quiet because he doesn’t want to scare Meghan off. He knows things will change when their romance is public knowledge but he also knows he can’t keep it a secret for long. It’s too early to say if the relationship will lead to anything long-term but who knows? At the moment they are just taking it a step at a time and seeing how things develop.
William and Kate really liked her and she fitted in straight away. Meghan is a very confident and intelligent woman and she’s not overawed mixing with royalty. That’s one of the things Harry admires about her.”
Meghan was married to movie producer type Trevor Engelson for about 2 years. They divorced in 2013. PHG was married to me (in a dream once) for about 25 seconds.
PHG getting with Rachel from Suits (or “the chick from those damn Reitmans commercials” as you Canadians may know her as) is every layer of random, and I’m for it, but I’m not sure I believe it just yet. I mean, it came from the Express and if you’re doing PHG, it’s physically impossible to keep it a secret. Everyone would find out after seeing you do cartwheels down the street while screaming about how you’re fucking Prince Harry* as flames shoot out of your crotch**.
* A natural reaction to fucking PHG. ** What happens when you fuck PHG.
And here’s PHG visiting the Nottingham Central Police Station in Nottingham last week. The officers in these pictures need to arrest themselves for not getting PHG to wear a uniform in his photo-op.