Kanye West’s Video For “Famous” Is Your Worst Sexual Nightmare

June 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Oh here go hell come… Oh dear me… While the nuns are busy trying to figure out how to solve a problem like Maria, I’m scratching my head trying to figure out how to solve a problem like Kanye West. Do we give him a time out? Do we just pretend he’s not here and eventually he’ll just stop the tantrums? Or do we just acknowledge him and say “good job, sweetie. Now mommy has to work, so shhhhhh”? Whatever the solution, today we come to the part of the show where he pulls his pants down at the dinner party and says “LOOK!” Kanye West has released his video for “Famous” (the song which features Rihanna and Swizz Beatz and includes a line about making Taylor Swift famous) unto the world.

Kanye premiered his latest high fart crapsterpiece, sorry, high art masterpiece, at The Forum in Inglewood, CA last night, and it’s also up on Tidal. I don’t know what’s more shocking – the video or that Tidal is still trying to happen. Tidal. That’s more shocking. Definitely. The video is five plus LONG minutes of Kanye passed out in bed with a bunch of famous types he’s been tied to at one point. The famous types featured are:

George W. Bush, Donald Trump, Anna Wintour, Rihanna, Chris Brown, Taylor Swift, Kanye West, Kim Kardashian West, Ray J, Amber Rose, Caitlyn Jenner and Bill Cosby.

The video is NSFW (and not safe for your eyeballs if they’re feeling tender today because they will roll). It looks like the world’s most boring orgy that lasted only 3 seconds, because they all pretended to fall asleep after Kanye began talking about Kanye:

Kanye’s latest work of riduclousness is based on Vincent Desiderio’s painting “Sleep.” Kanye obviously chose the famous hos he chose to get as much attention as possible, but he denied that to Vanity Fair. It’s just his commentary on fame. Kanye also played coy, shy and coquette when it came to revealing whether any of the celebrities in the video were real. He said that the video took 3 months to make and “some” of the celebrities are actually terrifying, nightmare-inducing products of prosthetics. Anyone with eyes that function could tell you that most of them aren’t real and that they’re almost more plastic than Kim Kardashian. The Rihanna droid, or whatever the fuck you call it, is giving me a level 10 Whitney Houston hologram. The Donald Trump one is also not real (duh) and neither is The Difficult Brown’s. If Kanye really wanted to make the Taylor Swift one look 100% genuine, he should’ve had it serving him with legal papers since she’s most likely going to sue him for this.

If those were the actual celebrities, there wouldn’t be a video to show. The studio would’ve blown up from all of those throbbing egos rubbing against each other.

The Vanity Fair article about the making of this mess includes this gem:

The video also reminds me of something West said about himself and Kardashian West in an earlier conversation: “Our life is walking performance art.”

Yes, Kanye, I too can walk and fart at the same time.

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