You may want to ask a trustworthy loved one to stand on the opposite side of the room with a catcher’s mitt, because this piece of information is probably going to blow your mind and I don’t want it splattering all over the wall. Prince Hot Ginge and Pippa Middleton weren’t really photographed on a beach together. That was Photoshopped. You know, I don’t even know if it’s Photoshopped. It looks like they cut out a picture of him, cut out a picture of her, glued both to a background and took a picture of that. That is some master decoupage work.
The story about PHG and THE BUTT OF BRITAIN being secret lovers is about as real and believable as that cover. A source says that their parts have tingled for each other for years and they even fucked in the bathroom at Duchess Kate and Prince William’s wedding. But then they started dating other people and now that they’re both single, they started doing each other again.
The rest of this fable reads like crazy fanfiction written by me. If you replaced “Pippa” with “Michael” and “she” with “he” and “her” with “his,” this is definitely something I’d come up with. I’d even write the part about wearing tight jeans and a sheer top to see PHG. via The Daily Mail
In the final days of her relationship with [her boyfriend] Nico, she reportedly turned up on Harry’s doorstep in tight jeans and a sheer top. For his part, Harry had ‘lit candles and put on some soft music he thought she’d like – Adele, Ellie Goilding, Bruno Mars. They sipped wine and then ate a pasta carbonara that he’d prepared himself.’
Since then, she has since spent the night several times – but they have been so good at sneaking around that only OK! – and Prince William – have managed to find them out. The future King reportedly let himself into Harry’s apartment recently and found the twosome in a compromising position
He wasn’t happy, but it seems to be too late for him to put a stop to it. Pippa and Harry have a ‘real emotional connection’ and their relationship is becoming ‘something serious’.
Okay, that’s not exactly something I’d write. In my version, PHG’s very, very good friend Idris Elba lets himself into his apartment, catches us together and joins in.
And that magnificent cover isn’t only the 8th Wonder of the World, it also taught me something about myself I didn’t know. I never knew that Sarah Hyland and I are pretty much the same person. Thanks, OK!
Here’s Prince William taking his bald head and Duchess Kate to a charity event today.