Bennifer 2.0 Is Over, For Real This Time

June 30, 2015 / Posted by:

Remember when a “sourcesaid those moving trucks outside of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s house weren’t there to move all his shit out and the trucks were being used to move out furniture before a big renovation? Well, either that source lied to us all or Ben and Jen are renovating their house so they get a bigger price on it when they sell that shit. Because Bennifer 2.0 announced today (the day after their 10th anniversary) that their marriage is done and they’re getting a divorce. Jennifer Garner is no longer fucking Ben Affleck. “I called it,” screamed pretty much every tabloid in the world.

Ben and Jennifer “exclusively” released this statement to People:

“After much thought and careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision to divorce. We go forward with love and friendship for one another and a commitment to co-parenting our children whose privacy we ask to be respected during this difficult time. This will be our only comment on this private, family matter. Thank you for understanding.”

TMZ says that Ben and Jen are going to try to keep it clean and she’s not going to go all Stephanie March by ranting in court papers about how she was sick of him coming home and smelling like random pussy and casino smoke. They will share custody of their 3 children and are not going to file for divorce until they work out the property and custody situation.

And as the paps weep over the loss of Bennifer 2.0’s legendary photo-op struts, tabloid editors are also weeping, because now whose MARRIAGE CRISIS are they going to put on their covers every other month? (Answer: Beyonce and Jay-Z, probably.)

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