Bennifer 2.0 Is Right On Time

May 29, 2015 / Posted by:

As soon as the latest rumors about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s marriage problems made the rounds, we all set our Sweet Secrets Switch Watch for their inevitable damage control strut and well, here they are.

While almost wearing matching ensembles (Didn’t Ben get the memo about wearing his leopard print ballet flats?!), Ben and Jennifer picked up their daughters Violet and Seraphina from school yesterday. Ben Affleck has made it clear that he hates the paparazzi, but well, when the tabloids can’t stop screaming about how you and your wife are living SEPARATE LIVES, you have to show the people that sometimes you’re in the same place by doing a good old-fashioned family photo-op. (Side note: “Living separate lives” is to divorce rumors what “fighting their inner demons” is to rehab rumors.)

OK! Magazine is just one of the tabloids saying that it’s almost the end of Bennifer 2.0. One tea-spilling friend of Jennifer’s said that they just smile through the misery. I thought “smile through the misery” was the tagline of most marriages, but the so-called friend says that they really are miserable:

“Often, when Ben and Jen have a problem, they just agree to ride it out and be miserable together until they can get some time apart. Jennifer has close friends who think that she and Ben are a horrible fit, despite how much he loves being a father to those kids.”

Well, go ahead and drop a thick fart on those divorce rumors, because here they are together. But you know, I bet you didn’t read any of those words, because you were too busy salivating over that Nutella froyo in the poster behind them. Ben and Jen should really get an assistant to scout the scene of a family photo-op and warn them of any possible spotlight-stealers. How are we supposed to clearly see that they’re the portrait of a perfect couple when they’re being upstaged by Nutella froyo? Rookie mistake!

Pics: FameFlynet

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