The Difficult Brown Got Arrested For Being The Difficult Brown (UPDATE)

The fissure on humanity’s ass lips that refuses to heal, Chris Brown, was once again showing everyone that he’s a completely changed person and isn’t a mutated throbbing taint pimple that regularly explodes into a douche geyser of rage. And by that, I mean the opposite. TMZ says that The Difficult Brown was put into handcuffs in DC early this morning after he punched a dude in the face outside of the W Hotel. The dude apparently photo bombed a picture that Chris was taking with two women. I know, the most shocking part of all of this is that Fist Brown knocked out a dude and not one of the two women. (“See, my baby is changing!” – Mom Breezy)

TMZ says that around 4:30 am, Chris Brown and his bodyguard were hanging outside of the W Hotel when two women asked to take a picture with him. Right before the picture was about to be taken, two dudes, who don’t know Fist Brown, jumped in and that made Chris say to them, “I’m not into this gay shit, I’m into boxing,” before punching one in the face. They brawled on the ground for a bit before the fight was broken up and the cops showed up. The Difficult Brown and his bodyguard were arrested for felony assault and the cops claim Chris wasn’t under the influence of anything mind altering. He was only under the influence of Chris Brown which is the worst drug of them all. The Difficult Brown and his bodyguard are sitting in jail right now and they’ll stay there until they face a judge tomorrow morning.

The dude who felt the wrath of The Difficult Brown was taken to the hospital. His nose is broken and he may need surgery. He told TMZ that if Fist Brown would’ve apologized to him afterward, he would’ve taken it and moved on, but since that didn’t happen, he will press charges. The Difficult Brown is still on probation and “breaking a dude’s nose” is considered a violation, so he could go to the clink for up to four years. But back to that ridiculous “I’m not into this gay shit, I’m into boxing” shit….

The Difficult Brown went on to say, “You know, boxing. I like to get shirtless, get sweaty and fist other dudes.” So taking a picture with dudes equals “gay shit“? The rage, the meth and the dirty enema water running through his veins must’ve eaten up whatever is left of his brains, because I don’t even know what that means. And every time The Difficult Brown pulls some shit like this, I take it as him begging the justice system to please throw him in a building with a bunch of locked-up, sexually frustrated men.

But seriously, I’m sure The Difficult Brown never said that shit. I mean, how can he be a homophobe when he’s an ambassador for equality?!

The new single is apart of my “UNITY CAMPAIGN” which encourages all races, genders, sexes, (everyone) gay or straight to love each other!

— Chris Brown (@chrisbrown) June 13, 2013

UPDATE: Someone in Team Difficult Brown tells TMZ that the dudes weren’t photo bombing a pic, they were trying to get on Chris Brown’s bus.